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some people believe that to be successful at a sport you need a natural ability and others think that hardwork and practice can make you successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

some people believe that to be successful at a sport you need a natural ability and others think that hardwork and practice can make you successful. v. 1
It is often argued that in order to excel at a sport, one needs to be talented in such activity as opposed to rigorous training and dedication. In my opinion, I disagree with this view as I consider that talent is not the only factor to excel in athletics. On the one hand, some individuals have reason to believe that having a natural gift in a sport is all that is required to succeed in it. This is because, excellence in such activity comes easily and naturally without the need for tedious effort put into it. For example, a recent study conducted by the National Football Association in Yale university shows that students without formal training outperformed other students who received lots of trainings and practiced rigorously. Consequently, this shows that having the innate ability to do something trumps any form of training whatsoever. On the other hand, are some people who believe that continuous practice and working hard can make one good at athletics which I agree. They are of the opinion that even though an individual does not have prior experience or inbuilt ability to perform a task, such person can still excel. For instance, Michael Jordan, a renowned basketball player mentioned in his book that he never had any knowledge of how to play basketball, but only liked the sport and wished he could play it. For this reason, he started learning and practicing continuously till he became the best in the world. This shows that a person can achieve expertise at something over time. In conclusion, while others may vary in their opinion, I believe that working hard and training rigorously is the key to succeeding at a sport because even though one is talented in it, without continuous training, such talent can be lost.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that in order to excel at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, one needs to
be talented
in such activity as opposed to rigorous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and dedication. In my opinion, I disagree with this view as I consider that talent is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
factor to excel in athletics.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals have reason to believe that having a natural gift in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is all that
is required
to succeed in it. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, excellence in such activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
easily
and
naturally
without the need for tedious effort put into it.
For example
, a recent study conducted by the National Football Association in Yale university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that students without formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
outperformed other students who received lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trainings
and practiced
rigorously
.
Consequently
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that having the innate ability to do something trumps any form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
whatsoever.

On the other hand
, are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe that continuous practice and working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at athletics which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. They are of the opinion that
even though
an individual does not have prior experience or inbuilt ability to perform a task, such person can
still
excel.
For instance
, Michael Jordan, a renowned basketball player mentioned in his book that he never had any knowledge of how to play basketball,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
liked the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and wished he could play it.
For this reason
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
learning and practicing
continuously
till he became the best in the world. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that a person can achieve expertise at something over time.

In conclusion
, while others may vary in their opinion, I believe that working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
rigorously
is the key to succeeding at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
even though
one
is talented
in it, without continuous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
, such talent can
be lost
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay some people believe that to be successful at a sport you need a natural ability and others think that hardwork and practice can make you successful. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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