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People who read for pleasure have better imagination and language skills than those who prefer watching T. V. To what extent do you agree? v.2

People who read for pleasure have better imagination and language skills than those who prefer watching T. V. v. 2
It is a common belief that having good reading ability helps to increase our thinking and language skills rather than watching T. V. Although, I agree that the reading skills prove to be fruitful for cognitive skills. I reckon that technology also plays a tremendous role to build our thoughts in a precise way. On the one hand, reading a book is pivotal for the development of our creative minds because we are able to learn plenty of technical ideas as well as moral values and try to express these things in our practical life to become more successful. Many people believe that it is a fun and thrill to read different kinds of books and get diverse knowledge from it. Furthermore, it becomes a building block in the enhancement of our mental abilities. Also, it is very easy to understand variety of languages as many writers and linguistics convey their meanings in a simple way which is easily understand by individuals. They used the pronunciations and phrases in their contents that everyone can get the command in its particular language. On the other hand, modern technology has contributed a significant part in our personal growth as nowadays many individuals spend their leisure time on watching television and surfing on the internet to keep themselves update about the current situation. Moreover, they can get to know about different culture and tradition. It is also very difficult to get expertise in a language without listening and speaking skills and it is only possible by watching the television. For example, according to many professional ielts trainer, BBC is the one of the best source which favors the students to achieve good bands in listening, speaking and reading skills. To recapitulate, I agree that people embrace a lot of skills from books but at the same time, television also improves our positive imaginations and communication abilities but we also must select appropriate programs and watch them proportionally.
It is a common belief that having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
ability
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to increase our thinking and language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
rather
than watching T. V. Although, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
prove to be fruitful for cognitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. I reckon that technology
also
plays a tremendous role to build our thoughts
Consider replacing "in a precise way" with the adverb for "precise"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a precise way
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a book is pivotal for the development of our creative minds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we are able to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
as well
as moral values and try to express these things in our practical life to become more successful.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is a fun and thrill to read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of books and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
diverse knowledge from it.
Furthermore
, it becomes a building block in the enhancement of our mental abilities.
Also
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to understand variety of languages as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
writers and linguistics convey their meanings
Consider replacing "in a simple way" with the adverb for "simple"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a simple way
which is
easily
Consider using a past participle here: "understood".
understand
by individuals. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the pronunciations and phrases in their contents that everyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the command in its particular language.

On the other hand
, modern technology has contributed a significant part in our personal growth as nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals spend their leisure time on watching television and surfing on the internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves update about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation.
Moreover
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture and tradition. It is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
expertise in a language without listening and speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible by watching the television.
For example
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professional
Possible spelling mistake found.
ielts
trainer, BBC is the one of the best source which favors the students to achieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
bands in listening, speaking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To recapitulate, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
embrace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
from books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time, television
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
imaginations and communication abilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
select appropriate programs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them
proportionally
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay People who read for pleasure have better imagination and language skills than those who prefer watching T. V. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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