Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays people get married and have children after the age of 30. Has this become a positive or negative development? v.4

Nowadays people get married and have children after the age of 30. Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 4
Today it has become popular that younger generations are getting married and have kids later in the age of 30. In my opinion, there are some positive and negative effects which shall be elaborated in the forthcoming paragraphs. Nowadays people are more passionate about their career. They want to build an exquisite lifestyle for their families. Because it is very hard to survive in this era of inflation if you do not have a better job earning with good amount of salary. For this reason, couples postpone the idea of a child at the earlier age and set their mind to achieve their goals and. Moreover the women empowerment have totally changed now. In the old days, most females have the conservative thinking and culture barrier which had stopped them from doing the job but now the time and thinking have fully changed. Educated women have more awareness about employment opportunities and want to earn by own selves and to complete race with men. For example, in this technological period, women are dominating the males in every sector. On the other hand, planning a baby in the older age is not always beneficial. Apparently in women, the chances of pregnancy level become decrease with the passage of time. Young couples have more children as compared to the older ones. Furthermore, in the older age different kinds of diseases are growing rapidly like diabetes, high blood pressure etc. so their symptoms are very harmful for the new born babies. For example, a recent survey shows that 45% of the health problems usually found between the ages of 30 to 40 years. To recapitulate, marriage and family planning are the most pivotal life changing decisions so every youngster should think its outcome before taking an irresponsible decision.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
it has become popular that younger generations are getting married and have kids later in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 30. In my opinion, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects which shall
be elaborated
in the forthcoming paragraphs.

Nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more passionate about their career. They want to build an exquisite lifestyle for their families.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to survive in this era of inflation if you do not have a better job earning with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of salary.
For this reason
, couples postpone the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of a child at the earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
and set their mind to achieve their goals and.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
empowerment have
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. In the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days, most females have the conservative thinking and culture barrier which had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
them from doing the job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the time and thinking have
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. Educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have more awareness about employment opportunities and want to earn by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
selves and to complete race with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
For example
, in this technological period,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are dominating the males in every sector.

On the other hand
, planning a baby in the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is not always beneficial.
Apparently
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, the chances of pregnancy level become decrease with the passage of time. Young couples have more children as compared to the older ones.
Furthermore
, in the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of diseases are growing
rapidly
like diabetes, high blood pressure etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their symptoms are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful for the new born babies.
For example
, a recent survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 45% of the health problems
usually
found between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
of 30 to 40 years.

To recapitulate, marriage and family planning are the most pivotal life changing decisions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
every youngster should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
its outcome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking an irresponsible decision.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays people get married and have children after the age of 30. Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts