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Online shopping is becoming more popular. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of work required? v.1

Online shopping is becoming more popular. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of work required? v. 1
A recent phenomenon of modern societies is online shopping, with conflicting views on whether it makes any difference to the environment, especially regarding carbon footprint. One idea claims that purchasing goods online is actually better for the environment. Advocates of this believe that the limited trips to the physical stores using vehicles means that carbon dioxide emission is reduced. Hardly does distributing goods to various locations in certain neighbourhoods using the efficient delivery route release as much gas emission as each member of those neighbourhoods making a round trip to the stores using their personal vehicles. In countries where cars are highly used for the purpose of shopping, like in the U. S and in the U. K, e-commerce method is a greener choice. However, there are some opposite aspects that are not considered. Firstly, frequent online purchases produce more packaging waste, and online items tend to come from different distribution centres, both of which result in higher environmental pollution per item. Secondly, barely do people buy a lot of items per purchase, which further increases the number of to-and-fro trips and carbon footprint, as well as packagings. Although most shopping trips are made by car in the U. S and U. K, in countries where shopping on foot or by bike are prevalent, such as China or a number of European countries, online shopping will certainly not reduce greenhouse gas compared to going to physical stores. From a personal perspective, if people want to reduce the harm of carbon footprint, purchasing a large number of products from one distribution centre, which is equivalent to the lowered number of trips, is beneficial. Another way to protect the air from CO2 is by avoiding failed delivery that results in unnecessary trips from the warehouse. In conclusion, online shopping is neither bad nor good inherently. Instead, it is the consumer awareness that we should enhance to achieve the environmental protection that is needed.
A recent phenomenon of modern societies is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, with conflicting views on whether it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
any difference to the environment,
especially
regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
footprint. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
claims that purchasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is actually better for the environment.

Advocates of this
Did you mean "belief" (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
believe
that the limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
to the physical stores using vehicles means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
dioxide emission is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. Hardly does
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "distribute"?
distributing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
to various locations in certain
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhoods' is British English.
neighbourhoods
using the efficient delivery route release as much gas emission as each member of those
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhoods' is British English.
neighbourhoods
making a round
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
to the stores using their personal vehicles. In countries where cars are
highly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, like in the U. S and in the U. K, e-commerce method is a greener choice.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opposite aspects that are not considered.
Firstly
, frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
produce more packaging waste, and
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online
items tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
distribution
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, both of which result in higher environmental pollution per item.
Secondly
,
barely
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
items per
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
, which
further
increases the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of to-and-fro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
footprint,
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
packagings
. Although most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
are made
by car in the U. S and U. K, in countries where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on foot or by bike are prevalent, such as China or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of European countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will
certainly
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
greenhouse gas compared to going to physical stores.

From a personal perspective, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the harm of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carbon
footprint, purchasing a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of products from one distribution
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
, which is equivalent to the lowered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
, is beneficial. Another way to protect the air from CO2 is by avoiding failed delivery that results in unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
from the warehouse.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is neither
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
nor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
inherently
.
Instead
, it is the consumer awareness that we should enhance to achieve the environmental protection that
is needed
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Online shopping is becoming more popular. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of work required? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
321 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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