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People want their country to host an international sporting events. Other believes that international sporting event bring more problems than benefits. Discuss both the points of view and give your opinion. v.2

People want their country to host an international sporting events. Other believes that international sporting event bring more problems than benefits. v. 2
It is indeed true that there is often a great competition amongst the countries to host loternational sporting events. Many support such occurrence as they believe them advantae and so they wish their country to da sa; however, a few others say that the price involved in hosting such events is not warthwhile Therefor before attending my view, both opinions should be examined. Discussing the views of those who desire their country to host International Sporting events, the biggest advantages is that a country would earn a good revenue in a short span of time. Due to the sporting events, local business and tourism enhances. This generates a good capital, which can be used later to find several public works All this can benefit of couritry in the long term. In addition, such events bring owner and prestige to the host countryV. THIS IN turn can promote business and tourism again. A good example is Brazil. Another benefit is that sports and sporting events are directly or indirectly promoted in the host country itself. It can strengthen political relations too. However, the supporters of the opposite view have their own arguments. The biggest protest they have is of finance. Typically it can cost several millions pounds to build the stadium and Olympic villages and other related facilities, which later would stand empty. Moreover, there is a fear that such events can increase the crime rate and other illegal movement. Many also think that the regular trade, commerce and economic activities could be disturbed due to the hustle bustie. To conclude and give my opinion, I would surely support the former opinion than the latter. It is indeed a matter of honour and prestige for a country and also in this manner sports and games are promoted. However, the government of the host country should be ready to fight the challenges that come on their way.
It is
indeed
true that there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
a great competition amongst the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
Possible spelling mistake found.
loternational
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
support such occurrence as they believe them
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
advantae and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they wish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
da
Possible spelling mistake found.
sa
;
however
, a few others say that the price involved in hosting such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
warthwhile
Therefor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
attending my view, both opinions should
be examined
.

Discussing the views of those who desire their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
International Sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, the biggest advantages is that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would earn a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
revenue in a short span of time. Due to the sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, local business and tourism enhances. This generates a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
capital, which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
later to find several public works All this can benefit of
Possible spelling mistake found.
couritry
in the long term.
In addition
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
bring owner and prestige to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
Possible spelling mistake found.
countryV
. THIS IN turn can promote business and tourism again. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example is Brazil. Another benefit is that sports and sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are
directly
or
indirectly
promoted in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
itself. It can strengthen political relations too.

However
, the supporters of the opposite view have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
arguments. The biggest protest they have is of finance.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Typically
it can cost several millions pounds to build the stadium and Olympic villages and other related facilities, which later would stand empty.
Moreover
, there is a fear that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
can increase the crime rate and other illegal movement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the regular trade, commerce and economic activities could
be disturbed
due to the hustle
Possible spelling mistake found.
bustie
.

To conclude
and give my opinion, I would
surely
support the former opinion than the latter. It is
indeed
a matter of
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
and prestige for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
also
in this manner sports and games
are promoted
.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should be ready to fight the challenges that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
on their way.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay People want their country to host an international sporting events. Other believes that international sporting event bring more problems than benefits. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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