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People today generally have better lives than people in the past did. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

People today generally have better lives than people in the past did. v. 1
It is believed that populace / denizens / have an improved way of living as compared to the previous time. I totally agree with this viewpoint as people have a well-connected transportation system and access to the World Wide Web. To embark with, the cogent reason why individuals are availing a better version of their life in the current time is because of the widespread network of more interlinked roadways. Since there has been a tremendous growth in the number to highways and roads connecting big cities and small towns together in a last few decades, people are incredibly connected to various resources such as medical service centers. As a result, people can easily travel to a big metropolis so that they can attain an appropriate and advanced treatment. To exemplify, a recent survey depicted that up to 60% people travelled to Delhi in order to get a better treatment of their physical conditions. Thus, when a better version of life is essential, then a widely connected road system is the backbone for people. Furthermore, another key aspect of humans who are enjoying a better living condition these days is that people have access to the hyperspace. Owning to the latest internet penetration, people have easy access to smartphones which they can use for a variety for purposes such as shopping. As a result, individuals can easily make a purchase for any product which was a tough task in the older days as people had to physically walk down to stores. To illustrate, a recent survey pointed out that up to 40% smartphone owners shop online regularly. Therefore, when people have access to internet, they certainly feel more capable of taking up task such as shopping with an ease. To conclude, It is presume that humans have a better lives as compared to the previous time. I totally believe this view as they now have a very well-connected roadways - which they can use to approach services such as hospitals - and access to cyberspace in order to shop with ease.
It
is believed
that populace / denizens / have an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
way of living as compared to the previous time. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a well-connected transportation system and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to the World Wide Web.

To embark with, the cogent reason why individuals are availing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
version of their life in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the widespread network of more interlinked roadways. Since there has been a tremendous growth in the number to highways and roads connecting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
towns together in a last few decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
incredibly
connected to various resources such as medical service centers.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
travel to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
metropolis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can attain an appropriate and advanced treatment. To exemplify, a recent survey depicted that up to 60%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelled to Delhi in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
treatment of their physical conditions.
Thus
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
version of life is essential, then a
widely
connected road system is the backbone for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Furthermore
, another key aspect of humans who are enjoying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
living condition these days is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to the hyperspace. Owning to the latest internet penetration,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to smartphones which they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for a variety for purposes such as shopping.
As a result
, individuals can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
for any product which was a tough task in the older days as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to
physically
walk down to stores. To illustrate, a recent survey pointed out that up to 40% smartphone owners shop online
regularly
.
Therefore
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to internet, they
certainly
feel more capable of taking up task such as shopping with an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
.

To conclude
, It is
Consider using a past participle here: "presumed".
presume
that humans have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as compared to the previous time. I
totally
believe this view as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well-connected
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "roadway"?
roadways
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
which they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to approach services such as hospitals
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to cyberspace in order to shop with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay People today generally have better lives than people in the past did. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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