Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is generally believed that some people are born with certains talents, for instance for sport or music, and other are not. However, it is sometimes claimed tha any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both the views and gie your own opinion. v.1

It is generally believed that some people are born with certains talents, for instance for sport or music, and other are not. However, it is sometimes claimed tha any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 1
Nowadays, there is an increasing belief that any children hide some talents and that they are all wiseacres that just needed to be discovered. I completely disagree this idea and in this essay I will support my opinions with examples. There are several drawbacks for believing that. Firstly, as parents, we tend to force children to perform some activities that we really love. Instead of having their pastime to feed their creativity vein, in many cases, children are pushed to some activities more as a projection of parents that didn't had the same opportunities and wanted to reshape their children as themselves expected to be. This generally results in children bored and that tended to leave these activities. Another reason is that, we expect that everybody is gifted in somehow. For instance, children are stimulated in different ways, as practising sports, learning foreign languages or learning how to play some instruments. I strongly believe that, of course, there are talented children, but there are many others that maybe are very good in different fields, without having any gift or without succeeding in something particular. This is not a disaster, it's just the idea that not everything can be learnt, nor a talent. Having said that, there are, for instance, children born not properly with a definite talent, but with such a passion in something, that probably just needs to be deepened. In this view, some stimuli can be helpful for discovering talents and in this way that passion can be shaped in something concrete. On this occasion, talents can be taught since children are already ready to learn them, but maybe are just not focused on come them out. To sum up, it cannot be claimed that everybody has a hidden talent to be discover and in many cases a lot of efforts concern more the parents' expectations than the real interest for children. However, sometime children are too young to already realize their talents, and parents should offer them some help to dig them out.
Nowadays, there is an increasing belief that any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
and that they are all wiseacres that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
needed to
be discovered
. I completely disagree this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and in this essay I will support my opinions with examples.

There are several drawbacks for believing that.
Firstly
, as parents, we tend to force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities that we
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
Instead
of having their pastime to feed their creativity vein, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are pushed
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
a projection of parents that didn't
The verb 'didn't' requires base form of this verb: "have"
had
the same opportunities and wanted to reshape their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as themselves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be. This
generally
results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
bored and that tended to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
these activities.

Another reason is that, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
that everybody
is gifted
in somehow.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are stimulated
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways, as
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
sports, learning foreign languages or learning how to play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
instruments. I
strongly
believe that,
of course
, there
are talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others
The verb 'are' is plural. Did you mean: "that maybe is"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that maybe are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields, without having any gift or without succeeding in something particular. This is not a disaster, it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that not everything can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
, nor a talent.

Having said that, there are,
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
born not
properly
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with such a passion in something, that
probably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
needs to
be deepened
. In this view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stimuli can be helpful for discovering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
and in this way that passion can
be shaped
in something concrete. On this occasion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
can
be taught
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are already ready to learn them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
maybe are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
not focused on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
them out.

To sum up, it cannot
be claimed
that everybody has a hidden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
to be
Consider using a past participle here: "discovered".
discover
and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
efforts concern more the parents' expectations than the real interest for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
, sometime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are too young to already realize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
, and parents should offer them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to dig them out.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally believed that some people are born with certains talents, for instance for sport or music, and other are not. However, it is sometimes claimed tha any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
336 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts