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People think that it is more important to plant trees in towns and cities than to build more houses. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

People think that it is more important to plant trees in towns and cities than to build more houses. v. 2
Planting trees, in large metropolitans, is preferred over new construction by some. While they might have reasons behind their belief, I, however, think that both of these factors are essential for the balanced societal expansion; reasons behind my viewpoint will be provided in subsequent paragraphs. On one hand, shelter is an essential necessity of life and with the substantial growth is population, it is indispensable to build more residential apartments to accommodate people. For instance, China has developed entirely new cities in abandon areas for the sake of next generation, keeping the current growth rate into consideration. This will not only provide livable habitat but also reduce the unmanageable predicament of large cities, which in turn will reduce crime rate and living cost. If people not found living space, it will culminates in inevitable consequences such as exponential increase in real state price resulting an increased homeless person count, who will not be able to afford. On the other hand, trees are equally important for human survival, as they not only provide oxygen for breathing but also reduce greenhouse effect, which is constantly heating up our cities because of myriad of reasons. Plantation will not only decrease these environmental problems but will also provide habitat to many species, such as squirrels, which creates balance in ecosystem. For the sake of these reasons, parks are always planned in the development of modern cities. Furthermore, forestation could also be proceeded to tackle these issues. For example, One billion tree plantation program was successfully completed in Pakistan and was appreciated by many environmental organization throughout the world. In conclusion, I believe that both of these factors are necessary for the evolution of fair society as new construction provides solution for living space and plantation help resolve the nature issues.
Planting trees, in large metropolitans,
is preferred
over new construction by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
. While they might have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind their belief, I,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that both of these factors are essential for the balanced societal expansion;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind my viewpoint will
be provided
in subsequent paragraphs.

On one hand, shelter is an essential necessity of life and with the substantial growth is population, it is indispensable to build more residential apartments to accommodate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For instance
, China has developed
entirely
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in abandon areas for the sake of
next
generation, keeping the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
growth rate into consideration. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
livable habitat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the unmanageable predicament of large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, which in turn will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
crime rate and living cost. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not found living space, it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "culminate"
culminates
in inevitable consequences such as exponential increase in real state price resulting an increased homeless person count, who will not be able to afford.

On the other hand
, trees are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for human survival, as they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
oxygen for breathing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
greenhouse effect, which is
constantly
heating up our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. Plantation will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
decrease these environmental problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
habitat to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species, such as squirrels, which creates balance in ecosystem. For the sake of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, parks are always planned in the development of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Furthermore
, forestation could
also
be proceeded
to tackle these issues.
For example
, One billion tree plantation
Possible agreement error. The noun 'program' seems to be countable, so consider using: "programs".
program
was
successfully
completed in Pakistan and
was appreciated
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
environmental organization throughout the world.

In conclusion
, I believe that both of these factors are necessary for the evolution of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
society as new construction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
solution for living space and plantation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
resolve the nature issues.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay People think that it is more important to plant trees in towns and cities than to build more houses. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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