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A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position. v.4

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position. v. 4
People have various opinions regarding what students have to study at universities. There are those who say that it would be better for university students to study their preferred areas of lessons, however others believe that they only have permission to study special lessons such as technology that are useful for their future. I agree with the first group and in this essay, I will give my reasons. On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why people think that students in universities can choose what they want to study. First of all, these students can achieve improvement in their field study because of their passion, which leads to get better scores in their university. Students' desirous is one of the main factors that improve their efficiency in studying and even their future workplace. Abandoning the university is highly likely for students who do not enjoy their lessons and this leads to wasting their time and money. On the other hand, others are of the opinion that the curriculum in universities should be limited to the courses such as science that are beneficial for the students and societies' future. They may assert that in comparison with art or music, studying in technology and science can help students to invent new things and make progress in particular fields such as medicine that are helpful for people's lives. Producing vaccines for different diseases is an example of improving in science. In addition, there are a wide variety of job opportunities for students who graduated in technology. For instance, it can be seen that all companies need to hire IT engineers. In conclusion, I advocate the idea that universities should force students to study in fields that are beneficial for the future rather than giving them the opportunity to choose what they want.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have various opinions regarding what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. There are those who say that it would be better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
their preferred areas of lessons,
however
others believe that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have permission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
special lessons such as technology that are useful for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
group and in this essay, I will give my reasons.

On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
can choose what they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can achieve improvement in their field
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their passion, which leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better scores in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. Students' desirous is one of the main factors that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their efficiency in studying and even their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
workplace. Abandoning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is
highly
likely for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who do not enjoy their lessons and this leads to wasting their time and money.

On the other hand
, others are of the opinion that the curriculum in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should
be limited
to the courses such as science that are beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and societies'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. They may assert that
in comparison
with art or music, studying in technology and science can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to invent new things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
progress
in particular
fields such as medicine that are helpful for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Producing vaccines for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diseases is an example of improving in science.
In addition
, there are a wide variety of job opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who graduated in technology.
For instance
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
need to hire IT engineers.

In conclusion
, I advocate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in fields that are beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
rather
than giving them the opportunity to choose what they want.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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