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People think that countries should produce foods their population eats and import less food as much as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

People think that countries should produce foods their population eats and import less food as much as possible. v. 1
It is believed that when a person become grown – up, he or she will have some major transformations in the manner they behave. In this essay, I will outline the dissimilarities between children’s conducting in society and that of adults as well as both the drawbacks and merits of this development. Children’s social behaviour can differ from that of adults in various ways. Firstly, we should consider when a child is young, he or she may have a tendency to obey their parents’ orders. In this case, children have not yet developed fully in the form they think about the world and even been too dependable on their parents’ support. However, when they grow up, they will act in a more responsible approach. Regarding to their experience in growth, they can create their own opinions and be opposed to their parents in making some crucial decisions in various aspects, which can be getting married or choosing their own career path. Moreover, when a person is small, he or she finds it easier to express their emotions in public such as crying or screaming. These, however, cannot longer be available when they get older due to the shyness and isolation each person feel in the modern world. Take young generation in the 21st century as an example, they always complain that it is arduous for them to tell everybody about their problematic situations and it is even harder to express their fragile souls among people. Although there can be many changes happen in one’ s soul, we can identify which ones are good to keep and which one can be destructive. It is unquestionable that, some adults, due to the indulgence they received from their parents during child-rearing, are spoiled seriously when they grow up. For instance, some Vietnamese girls these days, opposing to traditional culture, have been provocative fashion and behaviour in schools. Furthermore, young people at workplace can easily commit suicide if they feel so stressful and are unable to share their issues with others. These put a severe constraint on individuals and the community as a whole. By contrast, if a mature person, with a combination of both natural abilities and persistent practice together with appropriate child-rearing, can contribute greatly back to the development of their country by technological inventions or master strategic plans for the economy. In summary, despite that there is a diversification of the action a young child grows up and behaves, maturity, which depends on parental supports and personal discipline as well as resourcefulness, can either destroy or light one’s life.
It
is believed
that when a
person
become grown
up, he or she will have
some
major transformations in the manner they behave. In this essay, I will outline the dissimilarities between children’s conducting in society and that of adults
as well
as both the drawbacks and merits of this development.

Children’s social
behaviour
can differ from that of adults in various ways.
Firstly
, we should consider when a child is
young
, he or she may have a tendency to obey their
parents’
orders.
In this case
, children have not
yet
developed
fully
in the form they
think
about the world and even been too dependable on their
parents’
support.
However
, when they grow up, they will act in a more responsible approach.
Regarding to
their experience in growth, they can create their
own
opinions and
be opposed
to their
parents
in making
some
crucial decisions in various aspects, which can be getting married or choosing their
own
career path.
Moreover
, when a
person
is
small
, he or she finds it easier to express their emotions in public such as crying or screaming. These,
however
, cannot longer be available when they
get
older due to the shyness and isolation each
person
feel in the modern world. Take
young
generation in the 21st century as an example, they always complain that it is arduous for them to
tell
everybody about their problematic situations and it is even harder to express their fragile souls among
people
.

Although there can be
many
changes
happen in one’ s soul, we can identify which
ones
are
good
to
keep
and which one can be destructive. It is unquestionable that,
some
adults, due to the indulgence they received from their
parents
during child-rearing,
are spoiled
seriously
when they grow up.
For instance
,
some
Vietnamese girls these days, opposing to traditional culture, have been provocative fashion and
behaviour
in schools.
Furthermore
,
young
people
at workplace can
easily
commit suicide if they feel
so
stressful and are unable to share their issues with others. These put a severe constraint on individuals and the community as a whole. By contrast, if a mature
person
, with a combination of both natural abilities and persistent practice together with appropriate child-rearing, can contribute
greatly
back to the development of their country by technological inventions or master strategic plans for the economy.

In summary, despite that there is a diversification of the action a
young
child grows up and behaves, maturity, which depends on parental supports and personal discipline
as well
as resourcefulness, can either
destroy
or light one’s life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay People think that countries should produce foods their population eats and import less food as much as possible. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
428 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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