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People succeed because of their hard work; luck has nothing to do with success. v.4

People succeed because of their hard work; luck has nothing to do with success. v. 4
"Success is always a journey but not a destination". I feel that success cannot be a place but it is a part and journey of one's own life. The author of this topic says that people succeed in their lives only because of the hard work but not the luck. According to me, both will play vital roles in every individual person's life. In the below paragraphs I will justify how both are important to succeed. Firstly, I would like to say that without hard work even God will not help you out in coming over the things in life. So, one should work hard to earn anything. I say this because there are many people around the world who tasted success because of their immense hard work. It is a sheer illusion that one comes up in life without hard work. For instance, everyone knows about the president of America. He was born in a poor family in Kansas, his father somehow managed to send him to the school for education. Then he really worked hard and secured seats in Columbia University and then to his dedication, he completed his law from Harvard Law University with scholarships and stipends. Now I would like to put emphasis on the luck which is also a required one in success. One may be really hard working but if the place where he or she is residing is underdeveloped then it will be very difficult to achieve the feat. Not only that when we read the stories of great people, we can observe that, they had a coordinating family through which they succeeded, they are not lucky here. One such example is the legendary cricketer Sachin Tendulkar. He is a well-known cricketer in the world. He was such a lucky person that he not only had a very good coach and his parents' support but also got a chance to play international cricket at the age of 16, which I feel is terrific. He used to be busy with the cricket schedule and his wife use to take care of their children, so he is lucky enough to have all this. In the end, I would like to conclude by saying that it is a combination of both hard work and luck that makes a man successful in life in all respects. Having one without another is like a car without any fuel.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Success is always a journey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not a destination
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. I feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
cannot be a place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is a part and journey of one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The author of this topic says that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
succeed in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the luck.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, both will play vital roles in every individual person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In the below paragraphs I will justify how both are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to succeed.

Firstly
, I would like to say that without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
even God will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you out in coming over the things in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, one should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to earn anything. I say this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world who tasted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their immense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. It is a sheer illusion that one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For instance
, everyone knows about the president of America. He
was born
in a poor family in Kansas, his father somehow managed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
him to the school for education. Then he
really
worked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and secured seats in Columbia University and then to his dedication, he completed his law from Harvard Law University with scholarships and stipends.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I would like to put emphasis on the luck which is
also
a required one in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. One may be
really
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if the place where he or she is residing
is underdeveloped
then it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to achieve the feat. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that when we read the stories of great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, we can observe that, they had a coordinating family through which they succeeded, they are not lucky here. One such example is the legendary cricketer
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tendulkar
. He is a well-known cricketer in the world. He was such a lucky person that he not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
coach and his parents' support
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a chance to play international cricket at the age of 16, which I feel is terrific.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be busy with the cricket schedule and his wife
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
take care of their children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he is lucky
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to have all this.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, I would like
to conclude
by saying that it is a combination of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and luck that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in all respects. Having one without another is like a car without any fuel.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay People succeed because of their hard work; luck has nothing to do with success. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
400 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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