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People say that success is 10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion. v.1

People say that success is 10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work. Give your opinion. v. 1
Many individuals believe that for success to happen, a great amount of hard work is needed rather than talent. Although our God-given gifts are relevant, I agree that hard work is a paramount and crucial part of every accomplishment. Firstly, success requires persistence as well as discipline, and both are all qualities of working hard. This is because where one is gifted with a particular talent, one cannot achieve anything without nurturing and training such gifts. In other words, our inherent qualities just as gold, is only a raw material that must go through the refurbishment process so as to result to a shining gem. This improvement of our inborn qualities can only be done through hard work as talent is never enough. Furthermore, our talents may be lost through pride and other vices while working hard purposefully, can only be a means to an end which is success. The purport of this is based on the rule that what we do not not develop, we lose. A talented singer who refuses to learn more about music and other skills involved in singing will always do worse than a person who was not born with such gifts, but has put in all that is required to become a successful musician. Finally, it is worthy to state that where one has a talent, and puts it into use by persistently striving hard, great achievement is assured. This is because where a raw material is refined, it turns into a useful product. Talent is good, nevertheless, constant development and motivation of it, brings about results. For example, the famous footballer, Christiano Ronald can testify of these two qualities. Even though he has a talent for football, his success story today resulted from putting to work this gift. In conclusion, whereas our inborn qualities are important, successful outcomes only occur where hard work is applied through discipline and perseverance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals believe that for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
to happen, a great amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is needed
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
. Although our God-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
gifts are relevant, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is a paramount and crucial part of every accomplishment.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
requires persistence
as well
as discipline, and both are all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
of working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
where one
is gifted
with a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
, one cannot achieve anything without nurturing and training such gifts.
In other words
, our inherent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as gold, is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
a raw material that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the refurbishment process
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
result to a shining gem. This improvement of our inborn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
be done
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is never
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

Furthermore
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
may
be lost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
pride and other vices while working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
purposefully
, can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
be a means to an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. The purport of this
is based
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
that what we do
Double negatives are discouraged in standard English. Can you reformulate this phrase or is a comma missing?
not not
develop, we lose. A talented singer who refuses to learn more about music and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
involved in singing will always do worse than a person who was not born with such gifts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has put in all that
is required
to become a successful musician.

Finally
, it is worthy to state that where one has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
, and puts it into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
by
persistently
striving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
, great achievement
is assured
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
where a raw material
is refined
, it turns into a useful product.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Talent
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
nevertheless
, constant development and motivation of it, brings about results.
For example
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
footballer,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Christiano
Ronald can testify of these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
.
Even though
he has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
for football, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
story
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
resulted from putting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
this gift.

In conclusion
, whereas our inborn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, successful outcomes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
occur where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is applied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
discipline and perseverance
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay People say that success is 10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work. Give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
315 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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