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Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies. v. 5
In this contemporary world, urbanization has gained immense popularity, and the greenery could be found nowhere especially in the city. Many people opine that the place occupied by the governmental parks should be replaced to build the housing facilities for escalating population or to establish companies or organizations. This essay will highlight why such public facilities are extremely significant for the people, however, if problems such as overpopulation arises, then removing such public ground must not be an obstacle. To begin with, public parks are the only sites in the metropolitan cities, which aids the people to be close to the mother nature, and breathe some fresh air. Most urban areas are filled with industries, residential areas and educational institutes, so such recreation parks are of utmost significance to spend time in leisure period and relax with friends and families. For instance, a survey taken by the Nepal Recreational Society stated that more than 75% of the people in Kathmandu, the capital city of this country, prefer being in such places, and surrounding themselves with nature once in a while. Therefore, those places are extremely essential to acknowledge the value of greenery, and be close to the nature. Nevertheless, under certain circumstances, such as overpopulation and financial issues, public garden should be replaced by housing facilities or business set up. Having a resident to settle, and being financially secure is more significant in one's life, and one can live without the public park, but will have massive hurdles to live without a house, or have no medium to earn money. To illustrate, Malaysian government recently gave an order to destroy two of its massive national parks to build the residential area, since the population was mounting tremendously. Thus, in emergencies, or serious cases, removing such places could be considered. In conclusion, I believe that the public garden is extremely significant for the people and must not be replaced, unless the condition is very severe, which will create a harsh impact on the people, or the society. However, if the government could come up with other ideas to mitigate the situation, then it will be a good solution.
In this contemporary world, urbanization has gained immense popularity, and the greenery could
be found
nowhere
especially
in the city.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
occupied by the governmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
should
be replaced
to build the housing facilities for escalating population or to establish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or organizations. This essay will highlight why such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
facilities are
extremely
significant for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
however
, if problems such as overpopulation arises, then removing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
ground
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not be an obstacle.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
sites in the metropolitan cities, which aids the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be close to the mother nature, and breathe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fresh air. Most urban areas
are filled
with industries, residential areas and educational institutes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
such recreation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
are of utmost significance to spend time in leisure period and relax with friends and families.
For instance
, a survey taken by the Nepal Recreational Society stated that more than 75% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Kathmandu, the capital city of this country, prefer being in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, and surrounding themselves with nature once in a while.
Therefore
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are
extremely
essential to acknowledge the value of greenery, and be close to the nature.

Nevertheless
, under certain circumstances, such as overpopulation and financial issues,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
garden should
be replaced
by housing facilities or business set up. Having a resident to settle, and being
financially
secure is more significant in one's life, and one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will have massive hurdles to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, or have no medium to earn money. To illustrate, Malaysian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
recently gave an order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
two of its massive national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
to build the residential area, since the population was mounting
tremendously
.
Thus
, in emergencies, or serious cases, removing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
could
be considered
.

In conclusion
, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
garden is
extremely
significant for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be replaced
, unless the condition is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
severe, which will create a harsh impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, or the society.
However
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to mitigate the situation, then it will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solution.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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