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q4. Explain how corporation's culture is similar to any other culter and explain how corporates culture varies in different companies. v.1

q4. Explain how corporation's culture is similar to any other culter and explain how corporates culture varies in different companies. v. 1
It is undeniable that physical condition of employees could have a direct impact on their mental health. This could affect both the levels of efficiency and productivity in the workplace. This essay will look at the arguments made by proponents and opponents of this and make a reasonable conclusion. On the one hand, it can firstly be said that the employees who exercise regularly, will definitely help to create a stress-free working space and this might lead to higher levels of productivity. Furthermore, by using gyms the workers can probably have a better work-life balance because of their more rewarding leisure time. This might be more motivating than, for example, pay increments and cash incentives which can hardly be attainable. Finally, being in good shape may result in a gratifying factor called job satisfaction which could enhance the quality and quantity of work. On the other hand, some employers think that productivity and efficiency don’t seem to be measurable. As a result, they prefer to put their money into tangible programmes such as on the job training programmes to help the personnel achieve better future prospects. The more tangibly and measurably employers can allot their financial resources, the more quantifiable the outcome might be. This may professionally safeguard both the employer and the employee. All in all, although allocating some resources to gyms and sports clubs subsidies seems to be immeasurable to some employers and such a lack of tangibility may be counted as a negative trait, health-related support can largely lead to higher productivity, efficacy and a better work-life balance.
It is undeniable that physical condition of employees could have a direct impact on their mental health. This could affect both the levels of efficiency and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
productivity
in the workplace. This essay will look at the arguments made by proponents and opponents of this and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a reasonable conclusion.

On the one hand, it can
firstly
be said
that the employees who exercise
regularly
, will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free working space and this might lead to higher levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
productivity
.
Furthermore
, by using gyms the workers can
probably
have a better work-life balance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their more rewarding leisure time. This might be more motivating than,
for example
, pay increments and cash incentives which can hardly be attainable.
Finally
, being in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
shape may result in a gratifying factor called job satisfaction which could enhance the quality and quantity of work.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
productivity
and efficiency don’t seem to be measurable.
As a result
, they prefer to put their money into tangible
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
such as on the job training
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the personnel achieve better future prospects. The more
tangibly
and
measurably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
can allot their financial resources, the more quantifiable the outcome might be. This may
professionally
safeguard both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
and the employee.

All in all, although allocating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
resources to gyms and sports clubs subsidies seems to be immeasurable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
and such a lack of tangibility may
be counted
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trait, health-related support can
largely
lead to higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
productivity
, efficacy and a better work-life balance.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay q4. Explain how corporation's culture is similar to any other culter and explain how corporates culture varies in different companies. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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