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People nowdays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way such materialism. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.2

People nowdays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way such materialism. v. 2
It is certainly true that todays lifestyle has become more materialistic than ever. It is highly debated issue as to whether the growth of modern desiers which fulfill through hardworking and this replacing their culture values nd tradition is blessing or curse. I strongly agree with this notion due to some reasons. Majority of the individuals gradually get disconnected from their primitive period first reason behind that is material possessions are tied to self worth. People beleive if they do not have the latest gadget or clothes of the newest fashion they just do not have an identity. They beleive that they shall not be accepted in the social circle. This carving may lead to adoption of unethical modes to earn money to fulfill their ever increasing demands. Due to this the value of tradition they always set on back seat and always prefer to run in rat race to become moderinization. Moreover, as compairing with past tradition where had a great importance toward relationships, tolerance and respect. But in nowdays these values follow reverse pattern because in this era everybody wishes to assert their individuality and superiority with their buying power, there is a little place for respect and tolerance. For instance hindustan times conducted a survey and realized that above 80% people do not preseve their tradition equipments nd values and they need only high comfort zone. In conclusion, I opine that the desire of having more things inevitably leadspeople to compromise with their culture ethics and principles. It take a lot of personal courage and conviction to save oneself such an outcome and maintain a balanced life.
It is
certainly
true that
todays
lifestyle has become more materialistic than ever. It is
highly
debated issue
as to whether
the growth of modern
desiers
which fulfill through hardworking and this replacing their culture values
nd
tradition
is blessing or curse. I
strongly
agree
with this notion due to
some
reasons.

Majority of the individuals
gradually
get
disconnected from their primitive period
first
reason behind
that is
material possessions
are tied
to
self worth
.
People
beleive
if they do not have the latest gadget or clothes of the newest fashion they
just
do not have an identity. They
beleive
that they shall not be
accepted
in the social circle. This carving may lead to adoption of unethical modes to earn money to fulfill their
ever increasing
demands. Due to this the
value
of
tradition
they always set on back seat and always prefer to run in rat race to become
moderinization
.

Moreover
, as
compairing
with past
tradition
where had a great importance toward relationships, tolerance and respect.
But
in
nowdays
these values follow reverse pattern
because
in this era everybody wishes to assert their individuality and superiority with their buying power, there is a
little
place for respect and tolerance.
For instance
hindustan
times conducted a survey and realized that above 80%
people
do not
preseve
their
tradition
equipments
nd
values and
they need
only
high comfort zone.

In conclusion
, I opine that the desire of having more things
inevitably
leadspeople
to compromise with their culture ethics and principles. It
take
a lot of
personal courage and conviction to save oneself such an outcome and maintain a balanced life.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes

IELTS essay People nowdays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way such materialism. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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