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Some people think they should keep all the money they earn without paying taxes, others disagree. v.2

Some people think they should keep all the money they earn without paying taxes, others disagree. v. 2
In most countries around the world, while paying taxes is required by the law and considered a civic duty, it also brings about downsides that lead to certain individuals or corporations trying to evade or deduct the tax they need to pay. Some people claim that levying taxes is unfair and they deserve to keep all their legitimate income to themselves because they fight every single minute for it. High taxes can not only stifle the motivation of individual workers but also exert a negative effect of penalising hard work. The more concerning situation, however, is that with all taxpayers’ money accumulated, the government, albeit even an elected one, could misuse or even become corrupted, not to mention those authoritarian ones. In this case, it is better to keep the money to their own instead of anyone else. However, other people argue that taxes revenue provides a vital source for the government who shoulder the responsibility to build a strong country and provide important public services such as police, healthcare, education and many other vital ones which are closely tied to every single citizen’s well-being. Without this revenue, there would be no money to pay for government workers, resulting in no organisation to run the country and probably jeopardising national security. Therefore, paying taxes should be every single taxpayer’s responsibility. My view is that it is every capable citizen’s duty to pay taxes to support and provide our government necessary sources to protect our entire country as well as improve our personal life quality, only in the condition that they must be well used and absolutely cannot be abused by incompetent officials.
In most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the world, while paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
is required
by the law and considered a civic duty, it
also
brings about downsides that lead to certain individuals or corporations trying to evade or deduct the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
they need to pay.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that levying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
unfair and
they deserve to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
all their legitimate income to themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they fight every single minute for it. High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
stifle the motivation of individual workers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
exert a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of
Possible spelling mistake. 'penalising' is British English.
penalising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. The more concerning situation,
however
, is that with all taxpayers’ money accumulated, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, albeit even an elected one, could misuse or even become corrupted, not to mention those authoritarian ones.
In this case
, it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the money to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
instead
of anyone else.

However
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
revenue provides a vital source for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
who shoulder the responsibility to build a strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
public services such as police, healthcare, education and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other vital ones which are
closely
tied to every single citizen’s well-being. Without this revenue, there would be no money to pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
workers, resulting in no
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
to run the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
probably
Possible spelling mistake. 'jeopardising' is British English.
jeopardising
national security.
Therefore
, paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
should be every single taxpayer’s responsibility.

My view is that it is every capable citizen’s duty to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
to support and provide our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
necessary sources to protect our entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our personal life quality,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the condition that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and
absolutely
cannot
be abused
by incompetent officials.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think they should keep all the money they earn without paying taxes, others disagree. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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