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People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? v.8

People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? v. 8
Citizens who live in big cities have to deal with several issues in their daily life. These problems are costly fees and bills, overcrowded streets, and so on. In my opinion, administrations should encourage people to move to less busy areas such as the suburbs in order to reduce the pressure on downtown areas. First, people living in crowded cities have numerous problems in everyday life. The most disturbing issue is all the services in these places are charging too high. This is the rule of supply and demand in microeconomics, which is inevitable. For example, the price of a narrow apartment that is only 20 square meters in large cities can be equal to the price of a spacious countryside house of 100 square meters. Therefore, the citizens of these cities struggle to maintain their tiny apartments. Another problem is that congestions happen every day. For instance, in Ho Chi Minh City, in specific areas, traffic jams can occur up to four times per day. This leads to a very exhausting lifestyle for most of the people in big cities. Next, because of those problems, I assert that governments should encourage people to move to regional towns. This can help reduce the pressure on big cities. When the demand decreases, prices may become more affordable. Moreover, the streets can be less busy, which is more convenient for travelling. To do that, the government should relocate factories and companies to regional areas. Thus, there would be better job prospects for people there. In addition, administration can also improve the public transportation system to encourage commuters. With these supports, people may be more willing to change their place. In conclusion, expensive fees and bills as well as overcrowded streets are some typical issues that people living in large cities are dealing with everyday. To alleviate this problem, administrations should encourage citizens to move to the suburbs.
Citizens who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with several issues in their daily life. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are costly fees and bills, overcrowded streets, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. In my opinion, administrations should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to less busy areas such as the suburbs in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pressure on downtown areas.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in crowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in everyday life. The most disturbing issue is all the services in these places are charging too high. This is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of supply and demand in microeconomics, which is inevitable.
For example
, the price of a narrow apartment
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20 square meters in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can be equal to the price of a spacious countryside
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
of 100 square meters.
Therefore
, the citizens of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
struggle to maintain their tiny apartments. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that congestions happen every day.
For instance
, in Ho Chi Minh City, in specific areas, traffic jams can occur up to four times per day. This leads to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
exhausting lifestyle for most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.

Next
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, I assert that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to regional towns. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pressure on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. When the demand decreases, prices may become more affordable.
Moreover
, the streets can be less busy, which is more convenient for travelling. To do that, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should relocate factories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to regional areas.
Thus
, there would be better job prospects for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
there.
In addition
, administration can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the public transportation system to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
commuters. With these supports,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may be more willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their place.

In conclusion
, expensive fees and bills
as well
as overcrowded streets are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
typical issues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are dealing with
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
. To alleviate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, administrations should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encourage
citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the suburbs.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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