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People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? v.10

People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? v. 10
In modern life, it is argued by some politicians and authorities that big cities have been causing many issues to its citizens. I believe that governments should support people to move to more rural areas to prevent city problems such as health problem and pollution. This essay will examine the problems and give solutions to tackle these issues. First of all, the living cost of people who live in big cities has been increasing rapidly due to the density of population and lack of supply. The rent and grocery prices are higher than rural areas and it caused people pay more money even if the monthly salaries are almost the same when we compare with towns. Moreover, people spend their time, mostly on roads because of the cities’ traffic problems. As per an article published by WHO, it says that more time spent on traffic causes crucial health problems. On the other hand, governments support all people to migrate to rural areas. Some of them have been taking some actions not only restricted to migrate from town to city, but also support citizens to move to town. For instance, in Turkey, the Financial of Minister has published a law to ensure that if a person relocates its home to towns, those would be paid to invest in agriculture. Thanks to that, the population in megacity would decrease, but at the same time, the supply of groceries would increase. Moreover, the value-added tax (VAT) has been changed regarding the location’s population. In other words, whereas the VAT is 20% in Istanbul, it is 5% in Izmir and 0% in Trabzon. In conclusion, in the light of information and examples given above, the big cities’ citizens have been facing crucial issues which most affect their health. To prevent this undesirable issue, governments should encourage the citizens to turn back their father’s hometown. I am strongly convinced that governments and authorities could give more effort to fix this problem as soon as possible.
In modern life, it
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
politicians and authorities that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have been causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues to its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to more rural areas to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and pollution. This essay will examine the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and give solutions to tackle these issues.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the living cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has been increasing
rapidly
due to the density of population and lack of supply. The rent and grocery prices are higher than rural areas and it caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay more money even if the monthly salaries are almost the same when we compare with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend their time,
mostly
on roads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities’
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. As per an article published by
Did you mean "whom"?
WHO
, it says that more time spent on traffic causes crucial health problems.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
support all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to migrate to rural areas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them have been taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
restricted to migrate from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
to city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
.
For instance
, in Turkey,
The phrase 'the Financial of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the Financial of
Minister has published a law to ensure that if a person relocates its home to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
, those would
be paid
to invest in agriculture. Thanks to that, the population in
Possible spelling mistake found.
megacity
would decrease,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time, the supply of groceries would increase.
Moreover
, the value-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
tax (VAT) has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
regarding the location’s population.
In other words
, whereas the VAT is 20% in Istanbul, it is 5% in Izmir and 0% in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Trabzon
.

In conclusion
, in the light of information and examples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
above, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
have been facing crucial issues which most affect their health. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this undesirable issue,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
to turn back their father’s hometown. I am
strongly
convinced that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and authorities could give more effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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