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People living in the 21st century are enjoying better quality of life compared to people who lived in the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

People living in the 21st century are enjoying better quality of life compared to people who lived in the previous centuries. v. 1
Task 2 The important factors for this change are due to updated infrastructure, advanced medical facilities given by the government to enhance people’s lifestyle. However, it was argued by that in the past, people lived together and healthy. I strongly agree with this statement because number of arguments are surrounded in my opinion, which will be critiqued by me in the subsequent paragraphs. In the modern era, quality of people's life has improved over the centuries. Discussing the first and the foremost aspect that the standard of life has grown rapidly as compared to centuries ago, owing to the recently through technological inventions and facilities. Moreover, they bring technology to all aspects of growth. Such as in education systems, business activities___________, some household equipments. Therefore, with the help of robots, people can easily do a variety of activities of daily routine while they are able to do work for a long time. They can take more and more benefits in their life. Apart from this, entertainment like as travelling and video games has become an indispensable part of human life. So that, individuals like to find a lot of leisure time because they want to need more relaxed. By this way, in these days, people are trying to enjoy their moments compared to the previous years. It is true that living in the contemporary century is full of amenities. Despite this, particular difficulties such as stress of fast-paced life are becoming with this lifestyle which is not much better and can produce by changing lifestyle. Nevertheless, the pollution in the atmosphere and quality of food is slowly getting deteriorated which are harmful for the life of people because in past time, the air of the environment was fresh as well as the condition of the food was also far better as compare to present days. Hence, on that time people did not grow their food either with fertilisers or pesticides so, vegetables were enough healthy. The conclusion to be drawn is that nowadays, people want to live with more satisfaction. In this way, an individual feels comfortable because of the facilities in their environment such as technology and science. It will be more joyful for all ages people.
Task 2

The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
are due to updated infrastructure, advanced medical facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lifestyle.
However
, it
was argued
by that in the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
together and healthy. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
number of arguments
are surrounded
in my opinion, which will
be critiqued
by me in the subsequent paragraphs.

In the modern era, quality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
over the centuries.

Discussing the
first
and the foremost aspect that the standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has grown
rapidly
as compared to centuries ago, owing to the recently through technological inventions and facilities.
Moreover
, they bring technology to all aspects of growth. Such as in education systems, business activities___________,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
household equipments.
Therefore
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of robots,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
do a variety of activities of daily routine while they are able to do work for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. They can take more and more benefits in their life.

Apart from this, entertainment like as travelling and video games has become an indispensable part of human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, individuals like to find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to need more relaxed. By this way, in these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are trying to enjoy their moments compared to the previous years. It is true that living in the contemporary century is full of amenities. Despite this, particular difficulties such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are becoming with this lifestyle which is not much better and can produce by changing lifestyle.

Nevertheless
, the pollution in the atmosphere and quality of food is
slowly
getting deteriorated which are harmful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, the air of the environment was fresh
as well
as the condition of the food was
also
far better as compare to present days.
Hence
, on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not grow their food either with
Possible spelling mistake. 'fertilisers' is British English.
fertilisers
or pesticides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, vegetables were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
healthy.

The conclusion to
be drawn
is that nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with more satisfaction. In this way, an individual feels comfortable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the facilities in their environment such as technology and science. It will be more joyful for all ages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay People living in the 21st century are enjoying better quality of life compared to people who lived in the previous centuries. v. 1

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
368 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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