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People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why is music important to many people? v.9

People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why is music important to many people? v. 9
In all ages mankind has paid special attention to the music. Music in different countries have different meanings. In ancient time music was used for different purposes and in special occasions, but now people listen to music anytime they wish because listening to music helps them forget and release the daily stress, it can reminds us of special time and event, moreover it can help on having more concentration. To begin with, human’s daily life is full of stress. Everyday many things happen that we should deal with them which are more than our ability level so we may find listening to music as a solution that helps us forget our daily stress. By listening to music, we usually forget what has happened during the day, moreover it can help our mind digress from what has happened. Also it gives some amount of energy. For instance, after a stressful day, when you are driving to come back home listening to music can help you refresh your mind, gives you some energy and prepares you for spending some time with your family. In addition, people usually listen to certain types of music because it reminds them of a pleasant event and changes their mood. For example, listening to a special music reminds you of the first time you met your husband in the cafe. It’s a pleasant time which every time you listen to that music it reminds you of that event. Moreover, some types of music are played in a certain time of the year or for a special event. For example, in my country in the new year day, a special music is played which reminds you of the new year. The last but not the least, people listen to music to have more concentration. Listening to some kinds of music helps your mind to stay more concentrated. For example, where I work people usually talk to each other loudly and as my job is programming I need to be concentrated so I try to listen to music therefore I won’t be able to listen to what they are talking about and I can do my tasks. To sum up, listening to music help people in different ways. By listening to music you can be more concentrated, it helps you release your stress, and it would remind you of a special event or time. People just need to remember not to bother other people while they are listening to music.
In all ages mankind has paid
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special
attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
in
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different
countries have
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different
meanings. In ancient
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time
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music
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
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different
purposes and in
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special
occasions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
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people
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listen
to
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music
anytime they wish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them forget and release the daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
, it can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "remind"
reminds
us of
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special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
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event
,
moreover
it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
on having more concentration.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, human’s daily life is full of
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stress
.
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
Everyday
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things happen that we should deal with them which are more than our ability level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we may find listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as a solution that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us forget our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. By listening to
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music
, we
usually
forget what has happened during the day,
moreover
it can
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help
our mind digress from what has happened.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
it gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of energy.
For instance
, after a stressful day, when you are driving to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back home listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
you refresh your mind, gives you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
energy and prepares you for spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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time
with your family.

In addition
,
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people
usually
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listen
to certain types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reminds
them of a pleasant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
their mood.
For example
, listening to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reminds
you of the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
you met your husband in the
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
. It’s a pleasant
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time
which every
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time
you
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listen
to that
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music
it
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reminds
you of that
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event
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are played
in a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of the year or for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
.
For example
, in my country in the new year day, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is played
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reminds
you of the new year.

The last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
to
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music
to have more concentration. Listening to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
your mind to stay more concentrated.
For example
, where I work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
talk to each other
loudly
and as my job is programming I need to
be concentrated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
therefore
I won’t be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
listen
to what they are talking about and I can do my tasks.

To sum up, listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
ways. By listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
you can be more concentrated, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
you release your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
, and it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remind
you of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need to remember not to bother other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
while they are listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
74Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why is music important to many people? v. 9

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
411 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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