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people learn better form higher-level individuals, such as teachers and supervisors or form persons who are in their own level v.2

people learn better form higher-level individuals, such as teachers and supervisors or form persons who are in their own level v. 2
Since the beginning of the currenct century, the concept of learning has become a commn trend. It is very crucial for people to keep learn along their whole life, even from books, technology or people around them. Some people believe that they could learn better form their peers and collagues at work. However, there is another substantial body of evidence claims that learning form superiors is more beneficial. From a personal perspective, learning form high level individuals, such as teachers or supervisors is more significant given that they have great experience and knowledge. Below I will strive to expain my supporting points in more details. The first and foremost point, teachers are usually have broad knowledge. Provided that students depend on their educators to get information, they could always gain much more knoweldge. Nevertheless, some of our peers could excel in one area, they could not be as proficient as teachers. A vivid example that could be given to shed light on what was stated above is, I remember when I was at high school, I was terrible on phisics. Thus, I turned to one of my friend called Christine to tutor me. Even though she was very good at this subject, she could not answer all my questions. On the other hand, when I went to my professor, he explained the topic for my properly and taught me how to solve some mathimatics with an easy way. Consequently, asking profesionals persons always has more merits. Next, coupled with expand konwledge, experience is another virtue of learing form superiors. To put it in othrt words, supervisors or mangers are more skillful, and more experience in giving instructions; so they could convey information better. For instance, five years ago, when I did my pharmacy internship, my co-worker was adept in using the pharmacy system, but she did not have enough experience how to deal with patients. On the contray, the manger of the pharmacy was very qualified; hence, he taught me many skilld such as, working under stress, be multitask and dealing with patients specially angery ones. As a result, I could add all this skills to my resume and got better job after graduation. Taking everything into consideration, without a doubt, learning form those who higher level is better than learning form those who are on own level. It is suggested that people compromise and ask for guidance form all well-rounded people.
Since the beginning of the
currenct
century, the concept of
learning
has become a
commn
trend. It is
very
crucial for
people
to
keep
learn along their whole life, even from books, technology or
people
around them.
Some
people
believe that they could learn
better
form
their peers and
collagues
at work.
However
, there is another substantial body of evidence claims that
learning
form
superiors is more beneficial. From a personal perspective,
learning
form
high level individuals, such as teachers or supervisors is more significant
given
that they have great
experience
and knowledge. Below I will strive to
expain
my supporting points in more
details
.

The
first
and foremost point, teachers are
usually
have
broad knowledge. Provided that students depend on their educators to
get
information, they could always gain much more
knoweldge
.
Nevertheless
,
some
of our peers could excel in one area, they could not be as proficient as teachers. A vivid example that could be
given
to shed light on what
was stated
above is, I remember when I was at high school, I was terrible on
phisics
.
Thus
, I turned to one of my friend called Christine to tutor me.
Even though
she was
very
good
at this subject, she could not answer all my questions.
On the other hand
, when I went to my professor, he
explained
the topic for my
properly
and taught me how to solve
some
mathimatics
with an easy way.
Consequently
, asking
profesionals
persons always has more merits.

Next
, coupled with expand
konwledge
,
experience
is another virtue of
learing
form
superiors. To put it in
othrt
words, supervisors or mangers are more skillful, and more
experience
in giving instructions;
so
they could convey information
better
.
For instance
, five years ago, when I did my pharmacy internship, my co-worker was adept in using the pharmacy system,
but
she did not have
enough
experience
how to deal with patients. On the
contray
, the manger of the pharmacy was
very
qualified;
hence
, he taught me
many
skilld
such as, working under
stress
, be multitask and dealing with patients
specially
angery
ones.
As a result
, I could
add
all
this
skills
to my resume and
got
better
job after graduation.

Taking everything into consideration, without a doubt,
learning
form
those who higher level is
better
than
learning
form
those who are on
own
level. It
is suggested
that
people
compromise and
ask for
guidance
form
all well-rounded
people
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes

IELTS essay people learn better form higher-level individuals, such as teachers and supervisors or form persons who are in their own level v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
402 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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