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people learn better form higher-level individuals, such as teachers and supervisors or form persons who are in their own level v.1

people learn better form higher-level individuals, such as teachers and supervisors or form persons who are in their own level v. 1
Despite a continuing improvement in standard of education, many people believe that fees of education should be abolished. I partially agree with this view, in particular the primary level of education should be free for everyone. To begin with, it is apparent from the human tendency that in case of anything being cheaper or free, the quality declines. The same can be the case with education. The higher educational institutions require immense effort in order to acquire knowledge that is why curiosity and putting the minds of students are significant features of studying there. However, if there is not tuition fee in universities, the desire of students will be lost. Furthermore, making higher education free would lower the motivation of professors and leaders, because of the fact that their salary will be decreased respectively. As a consequence, these two factors of free education in institutes would be the key to low productivity. On the other hand, free education could be the motivation for pupils to study in higher institutes. By accepting the idea of free education, the equality between both lower and upper social classes students will be maintained. Hence, less-affluent students would be inspired to study with knowing that they are as privileged as their peers from richer backgrounds, they will try to gain greater academic achievements. In conclusion, while state-subsidized higher education will work, the government should take into consideration the repercussions of this and then accept the view. From my point of view, free education should be received as suitable in primary schools and colleges, not in universities due to poor quality which would be caused by that.
Despite a continuing improvement in standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that fees of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
be abolished
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view,
in particular
the primary level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
for everyone.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is apparent from the human tendency that in case of anything being cheaper or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
, the quality declines. The same can be the case with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. The higher educational institutions require immense effort in order to acquire knowledge
that is
why curiosity and putting the minds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are significant features of studying there.
However
, if there is not tuition fee in universities, the desire of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
be lost
.
Furthermore
, making higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
would lower the motivation of professors and leaders,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
their salary will
be decreased
respectively
. As a consequence, these two factors of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in institutes would be the key to low productivity.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
could be the motivation for pupils to study in higher institutes. By accepting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, the equality between both lower and upper social classes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
be maintained
.
Hence
, less-affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would
be inspired
to study with knowing that they are as privileged as their peers from richer backgrounds, they will try to gain greater academic achievements.

In conclusion
, while state-subsidized higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will work, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take into consideration the repercussions of this and then accept the view. From my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
be received
as suitable in primary schools and colleges, not in universities due to poor quality which would
be caused
by that.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay people learn better form higher-level individuals, such as teachers and supervisors or form persons who are in their own level v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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