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People know that environment is important for them still responsible for damaging the environment. What are the reasons? What has to be done to motivate the people? v.2

People know that environment is important for them still responsible for damaging the environment. What are the reasons? What has to be done to motivate the people? v. 2
Nature is a gift by God to mankind. But, due to the intervention of human activities, ecological balance of the atmosphere is disturbed and give rise to severe issues. Although, individuals are aware that environment is essential still, people do not initiate to conserve the atmosphere. This essay shall discuss the reasons behind this trend and ways to motivate the people. The predominant reason is that it is important for individuals to fulfill the basic needs of food, shelter and cloth. To meet these needs of growing population, forest areas are cleared to convert it into residential areas. Cutting down of trees lead to global warming. Secondly, more and more industries have been setup near the cities. Harmful gases released from these factories cause air pollution and promotes respiratory diseases among the residents for example, asthma. Moreover, the waste produced by these industries is not disposed properly but are thrown into water bodies give rise to water pollution. Last but not the least, individuals want to live luxurious life without considering the nature. They use private transports instead of public means. It causes traffic congestion and the traffic fumes pollute the environment and noise produced by blowing horns on roads lead to noise pollution. Government should take effective measures to preserve the atmosphere. Environment day should be celebrated once a year and free plants should be distributed to motivate individuals to grow more and more trees. Besides that, seminars should be organised to create awareness among the residents. Moreover, public should be motivated to use public transports by reducing fares, increasing frequency of public transports, making comfortable seats etctera. In conclusion, I would like to say that nature is very precious for mankind. But, it is disturbed by individuals to live a comfortable life and to meet their need as well as greed. So, government should take the responsibility to promote awareness among the individuals in order to save the environment.
Nature is a gift by God to mankind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, due to the intervention of human activities, ecological balance of the atmosphere
is disturbed
and give rise to severe issues. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are aware that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is essential
still
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not initiate to conserve the atmosphere. This essay shall discuss the reasons behind this trend and ways to motivate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The predominant reason is that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to fulfill the basic needs of food, shelter and cloth. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
these needs of growing population, forest areas
are cleared
to convert it into residential areas. Cutting down of trees lead to global warming.
Secondly
, more and more industries have
The verb 'set up' is spelled as two words. The noun 'setup' is spelled as one.
been setup
near the cities. Harmful gases released from these factories cause air pollution and promotes respiratory diseases among the residents
for example
, asthma.
Moreover
, the waste produced by these industries is not disposed
properly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are thrown
into water bodies give rise to water pollution.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
luxurious life without considering the nature. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
private transports
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
means. It causes traffic congestion and the traffic fumes pollute the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and noise produced by blowing horns on roads lead to noise pollution.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should take effective measures to preserve the atmosphere.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Environment
day should
be celebrated
once a year and free plants should
be distributed
to motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to grow more and more trees.
Besides
that, seminars should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
to create awareness among the residents.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
should
be motivated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transports by reducing fares, increasing frequency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transports, making comfortable seats
Possible spelling mistake found.
etctera
.

In conclusion
, I would like to say that nature is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
precious for mankind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it
is disturbed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a comfortable life and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their need
as well
as greed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take the responsibility to promote awareness among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in order to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay People know that environment is important for them still responsible for damaging the environment. What are the reasons? What has to be done to motivate the people? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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