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People in the past lived a long and happy life without even struggling much. Today, people struggle a lot but do not live a long and happy life. Give your views. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experie v.2

People in the past lived a long and happy life without even struggling much. Today, people struggle a lot but do not live a long and happy life. Give your views. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experie v. 2
In modern times, people aspire to get happiness and live long life but hardly such wishes are fulfilled. Conversely, our ancestors enjoyed life fullest and lived more without much struggle in day to day life. There are different reasons for this drastic change and I shall explain in essay. It is quite often heard that nobody is happier nowadays and everyone suffers some or other problems in life. The first and foremost reason for discontent is rising ambitions in life which makes the life restless and people particularly young generation press hard to achieve, resulting, unhappiness in life. For instance, my brother who wants to be a wealthy man in couple of years’ time which is quite tough and I found him demotivated most of the time as he has not become successful. Further, recurring desires and thereupon efforts to attain the goals comes at cost. Sometimes, people devote most of their time in working and dis-balance their life style which cause overweight, blood pressure problem and many more and few succumb to diseases. Another main reason is disruption of technologies in life which do not allow a free personal space and even excessive use drives towards stress, depression etc. On the other hand, people in past did not have any mobile phones or television but still enjoyed the content full life and lived for longer period. The main reason for happiness was easy and health life style. Most of the people worked in fields and did extensive labour work which helped to keep them away from sedentary life style, thereby, lead healthy and happy life. Furthermore, most of the eatables and beverages were pure and crops were grown without fertilizers that protected people from various illness. For example, Medical experts report that use of pesticides has serve side-affect and should not be used and vouched for ancient way for farming. To sum-up, While era in which we are living offers so many wonderful things, happiness has been become the things of past and struggle in life increased in multifold. I believe that people in past had good life and lived longer than us though they did not have technology or gadgets at their disposal.
In modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aspire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
happiness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
hardly such wishes
are fulfilled
.
Conversely
, our ancestors enjoyed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
fullest and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
more without much struggle in day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for this drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and I shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in essay.

It is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
heard that nobody is happier nowadays and everyone suffers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
or other problems in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The
first
and foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for discontent is rising ambitions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
restless and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
particularly
young generation press
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve, resulting, unhappiness in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, my brother who wants to be a wealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
years’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which is quite tough and I found him demotivated most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as he has not become successful.
Further
, recurring desires and thereupon efforts to attain the goals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
at cost.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
devote most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in working and dis-balance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style which cause overweight, blood pressure problem and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more and few succumb to diseases. Another main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is disruption of technologies in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
a free personal space and even excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
drives towards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, depression etc.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in past did not have any mobile phones or television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
enjoyed the content full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
for longer period. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for happiness was easy and health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
worked in fields and did extensive
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
work which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them away from sedentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style, thereby, lead healthy and happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Furthermore
, most of the eatables and beverages were pure and crops
were grown
without fertilizers that protected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various illness.
For example
, Medical experts report that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of pesticides has
Use past participle here: "served".
serve
Did you mean "side effect" (=adverse effect, unintended consequence)? Open compounds are not hyphenated.
side-affect
and should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and vouched for ancient way for farming.

To sum-up, While era in which we are living offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wonderful things, happiness has
been become
the things of past and struggle in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
increased in
Possible spelling mistake found.
multifold
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in past had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
longer than us though they did not have technology or gadgets at their disposal.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay People in the past lived a long and happy life without even struggling much. Today, people struggle a lot but do not live a long and happy life. Give your views. Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experie v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
365 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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