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People in the limelight have a responsibility to set a example to others by their good behavior. Do you agree? v.1

People in the limelight have a responsibility to set a example to others by their good behavior. Do you agree? v. 1
Many argue that popular figures in society should maintain a certain level of decency, because they are very influential. Although there is some truth to this notion, I agree to some extent. One argument in support of this claim is that, famous people often have a large followng. In other words, they have the ability to influence their fans with their life choices. This is because, when people admire each other they are inclined to mimickery. This can be exemplified by, the indecent acts committed by Miley Cyrus in 2014. Although her followers were mainly decent young girls, 80% of them were influenced by her bad behavior and copied her attitude. Therefore, it is apparent that crowds replicate those thye idollize, regardless of their actions. In turn, celebrities should take extra care in ensuring they are on their best behavior. Despite the burden of being influential that well known individuals carry with them, they are also entitled to their own decisions. This is because, everyone is allowed freedom of speech and has the right to act how they please. Furthermore, not everyone is as easily influenced by their idols. In addition to this, people can learn to love their positive qualities, but also acknowledge their negative traits. For instance, everyone loves Michael Jackson, a famous performer, for his music and kind personality, however, no one has ever been influenced by his acts of child molestation committed in 1996. In conclusion, while there are many reasons why celebrities should be well behaved to set a good example for their fans, people are responsible for their own lives and are entitled to act how they want.
Many
argue that popular figures in society should maintain a certain level of decency,
because
they are
very
influential. Although there is
some
truth to this notion, I
agree
to
some
extent.

One argument in support of this claim is that,
famous
people
often
have a large
followng
.
In other words
, they have the ability to influence their fans with their life choices. This is
because
, when
people
admire each other they
are inclined
to
mimickery
. This can
be exemplified
by, the indecent
acts
committed by Miley Cyrus in 2014. Although her followers were
mainly
decent young girls, 80% of them
were influenced
by her
bad
behavior and copied her attitude.
Therefore
, it is apparent that crowds replicate those
thye
idollize
, regardless of their actions. In turn, celebrities should take extra care in ensuring they are on their best behavior.

Despite the burden of being influential that well known individuals carry with them, they are
also
entitled to their
own
decisions. This is
because
, everyone is
allowed
freedom of speech and has the right to
act
how they
please
.
Furthermore
, not everyone is as
easily
influenced by their idols.
In addition
to this,
people
can learn to
love
their
positive
qualities,
but
also
acknowledge their
negative
traits.
For instance
, everyone
loves
Michael Jackson, a
famous
performer, for his music and kind personality,
however
, no one has ever
been influenced
by his
acts
of child molestation committed in 1996.

In conclusion
, while there are
many
reasons why celebrities should be
well behaved
to set a
good
example for their fans,
people
are responsible for their
own
lives
and
are entitled
to
act
how they want.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay People in the limelight have a responsibility to set a example to others by their good behavior. Do you agree? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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