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People find it very difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience. Do you think public speaking skill is really important? Give reasons. v.3

People find it very difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience. Do you think public speaking skill is really important? Give reasons. v. 3
There is no doubt that these days, many students prefer to study overseas, however, the question: What are the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad? Is being a controversial issue. In this essay I am going to examine this phenomenon from both viewpoints, while I tend to believe that students should have the opportunity to go outside their countries and experience various cultures during their studies. On one side of the argument there are people who argue that students are not adults to be able to manage their lives without their families and they have to study in their countries in order to receive the required. Furthermore, some students finish their high school while they are still under the age of 18, so they have to stay with an adult until they are 18 years old because they will not be able to take any decision or even sign any official paper when it is required. In addition, some people argue that foreign countries have different attitudes than us and their way of life is not conservative as what we have. For example, in Kuwait a lot of families prefer their daughters to stay here because they do not want them to face different cultures and behaviours as some of them are against Islam. I guess this is correct, but parents have to raise their children on how to protect their religion and traditions. On the other hand, it is also possible to consider it with the opposing case. Many students would like to study outside their countries in order to be more independent and responsible because they will have to do everything by themselves without their family support. Moreover, they will be able to share several experiences when they are back to their homes and this will add more to society and help in its improvement. I think each student has to responsible for himself and he has to know how to keep his traditions and religion alive even if he is outside his country. In conclusion, as we have seen there is no easy answer to this question, however, I tend to believe that advantages overcome disadvantages as students can improve their countries and share their ideas with others.
There is no doubt that these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer to study overseas,
however
, the question: What are the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad? Is being a controversial issue. In this essay I am going to examine this phenomenon from both viewpoints, while I tend to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should have the opportunity to go outside their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and experience various cultures during their studies.

On one side of the argument there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not adults to be able to manage their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
without their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
families and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in order to receive the required.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
finish their high school while they are
still
under the age of 18,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay with an adult until they are 18 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will not be able to take any decision or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
any official paper when it
is required
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
attitudes than us and their way of life is not conservative as what we have.
For example
, in Kuwait
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
families prefer their daughters to stay here
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not want them to face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are against Islam. I guess this is correct,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
raise their children on how to protect their religion and traditions.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to consider it with the opposing case.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would like to study outside their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in order to be more independent and responsible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do everything by themselves without their family support.
Moreover
, they will be able to share several experiences when they are back to their homes and this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more to society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in its improvement. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
responsible for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
himself and
he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
his traditions and religion alive even if he is outside his country.

In conclusion
, as we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
there is no easy answer to this question,
however
, I tend to believe that advantages overcome disadvantages as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and share their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with others.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay People find it very difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience. Do you think public speaking skill is really important? Give reasons. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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