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People eat more processed food than they did in the past, why is this and what are the effects of this? v.2

People eat more processed food than they did in the past, why is this and what are the effects of this? v. 2
In the 21st century, with the furtherance of food processing technology, variety of packed food items are available to general public. Easy to eat packed foods also known as fast foods, are popular choice of public due to their fast availability and prolonged shelf-life. In this essay reasons for the trend of increased consumption of less nutritional and fortified foods to that of, the earlier times is put forth. The native staple diets are getting replaced by junk items by due to fast pace and industrial culture. it has been observed that industrial culture making life busier hence, working class prefers time-saving options for food. The time-saving items are pre-mixed items, ready to cook, ready to serve packets and beverages for snacks and main meals. such variety of snacks and lunch options replace home-made food as well as tiffins at work as well. So with the modern life style and multiple meal options it is noted that the diet have become more unhealthy than past. With the food processing to meet extended self-life and enhance convenience, orignal diet traditions are vanishing along with health. First, food processing makes natural food stuff to lose nutrition content during processing and this produces food with empty calories, such as potato chips. Secondly various processes make food less organoleptic and this compensated by addition of synthetic additives and pigments such as dyes and salts. Together empty calories and supplemental chemicals cause harm to vital organs as well as weight gain. With the more and more inclusion of such non-conventional in the diet it has become for common reason of health problems. In conclusion, the unhealthy diets habits and meal options altogether leads to various health complications and cost us well-being and money.
In the 21st century, with the furtherance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processing
technology, variety of packed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are available to
Consider using "public".
general public
. Easy to eat packed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
also
known as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, are popular choice of public due to their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
availability and prolonged shelf-life. In this essay reasons for the trend of increased consumption of less nutritional and fortified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
to that of, the earlier times
is put
forth.

The native staple diets are getting replaced by junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
by due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace and industrial culture.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
has
been observed
that industrial culture making life busier
hence
, working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
prefers time-saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. The time-saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, ready to cook, ready to serve packets and beverages for snacks and main meals.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
such
variety of snacks and lunch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
replace home-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
tiffins
at work
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
with the modern life style and multiple meal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
it
is noted
that the diet have become more unhealthy than past.

With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processing
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
extended self-life and enhance convenience,
Possible spelling mistake found.
orignal
diet traditions are vanishing along with health.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
stuff to lose nutrition content during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processing
and this produces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
with empty calories, such as potato chips.
Secondly
various processes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
less
Possible spelling mistake found.
organoleptic
and this compensated by addition of synthetic additives and pigments such as dyes and salts. Together empty calories and supplemental chemicals cause harm to vital organs
as well
as weight gain. With the more and more inclusion of such non-conventional in the diet it has become for common reason of health problems.

In conclusion
, the unhealthy diets habits and meal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
altogether leads to various health complications and cost us well-being and money.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay People eat more processed food than they did in the past, why is this and what are the effects of this? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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