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People don’t read newspapers or watch tv news but they rely on internet for news. Is that positive or negative development? v.2

People don’t read newspapers or watch tv news but they rely on internet for news. Is that positive or negative development? v. 2
Nowadays, due to mobile revolution people find easy to read the news through internet instead of watching television news channels or reading through newspapers. They also feel it is convenient to read the news while travelling which saves their time in leaps and bounds. In the following passage, I will explain the causes for this change and conclude whether it is a positive or negative sign. Do people find time watching the news on television? No. Most of the them are engaged with hectic work schedule, in such circumstances they cannot afford to see the news in same place for hours. Moreover, people feel more number advertisements create nuisance for the viewers. Over the years, news channels to increase their viewers base they manipulate news to make it more interesting. For instance, the death of Ms. Jambalaya is creating lots of political conspiracy, most of the news channels have their own versions to make it more interesting, to spike their viewers. Therefore, the too much commercialization and false information are frustrating viewers to watch the news channels. Furthermore, many newspapers have increased their price frequently. In addition, they contain more commercial pages which enable people to think to buy or not. For example, the Hindu news prints has increased their Sunday edition to 12, where many youngsters are hesitant to buy. Additionally, easy internet access helps people to read news through mobile applications instantly at low price. Thus, it is believed, regular price revision and internet revolution are the major cause for this change. To sum up, as the proverb says, “time is gold”. People feel it is not worth to watch or read news through television and news prints, which is easily available on mobile news applications. But this trend is not good for the country, which affects youngsters reading skill drastically, also their language skill will be spoiled by such huge transformation and this considered to be a negative development.
Nowadays, due to mobile revolution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find easy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
internet
instead
of watching television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels or reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
newspapers. They
also
feel it is convenient to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
while travelling which saves their time in leaps and bounds. In the following passage, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the causes for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and conclude whether it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
.

Do
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people
find time watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on television? No. Most of
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "them"?
the them
are engaged
with hectic work schedule, in such circumstances they cannot afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in same place for hours.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel
Use only "number" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more number
advertisements create nuisance for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
. Over the years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels to increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
base they manipulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more interesting.
For instance
, the death of Ms. Jambalaya is creating lots of political conspiracy, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
versions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more interesting, to spike their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
.
Therefore
, the too much commercialization and false information are frustrating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
newspapers have increased their price
frequently
.
In addition
, they contain more commercial pages which enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
or not.
For example
, the Hindu
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
prints has increased their Sunday edition to 12, where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters are hesitant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
Additionally
, easy internet access
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
mobile applications
instantly
at low price.
Thus
, it
is believed
, regular price revision and internet revolution are the major cause for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

To sum up, as the proverb says, “time is gold”.
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People
feel it is not worth to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
television and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
prints, which is
easily
available on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
applications.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this trend is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the country, which affects youngsters reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
drastically
,
also
their language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
will
be spoiled
by such huge transformation and this considered to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay People don’t read newspapers or watch tv news but they rely on internet for news. Is that positive or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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