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Nowadays more and more people are using consumer goods such as refrigerators and washing machines Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this Give your own opinion and examples v.2

Nowadays more and more people are using consumer goods such as refrigerators and washing machines Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this Give your own opinion and examples v. 2
Consumer goods like refrigerator and washing machines are becoming more and more popular among the people. There are certain merits and demerits of above trend. To start with, because of recent innovations in the technology, consumer goods become reasonably cheap and small in a size, so that they can replace traditional methods of food storage and cloth cleaning. These electric equipment not only save time but also provide much needed flexibility. In current scenario, many young working couple don not find sufficient time to do household work. In such cases, these devices play critical role to balance personal and professional life. Machines always have risk of damage. However, today almost all companies provide best after sell services to customers. For example, today people can enjoy off season fruits because of the latest storage techniques which preserve these foods to extend their life. Such amenities were not available in the past. On the other side, sometimes over dependency on these machines creates huge problems in our life. We can visualize huge change in the eating habits of people because of the consumer goods. Further, people today do not try to eat hygienic, healthy and fresh food and instead rely on the frozen source to fulfill their daily requirements. However, in the end they do not get required minerals and vitamins. In addition, these goods consume huge portion of electricity which instead we can save for the other important work and can reduce our expenses. Besides, carbon emission caused by these machines are threat to human existence and they are major contributor in the green house effect. For instance, in India both refrigerators and washing machines contribute almost 50% in the monthly electricity bill. This shows how much people rely on the consumer goods. In conclusion, as per my opinion instead of overly depend on electrical devices, we should explore alternate ways which not only save our time but also create minimum impact on the environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
like refrigerator and washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are becoming more and more popular among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are certain merits and demerits of above trend.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of recent innovations in the technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
become
reasonably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
in a size,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can replace traditional methods of food storage and cloth cleaning. These electric equipment not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
save time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provide
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
flexibility. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young working couple
Did you mean "do not"?
don not
find sufficient time to do household work. In such cases, these devices play critical role to balance personal and professional life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Machines
always have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of damage.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
almost all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
provide best after sell services to customers.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy off season fruits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the latest storage techniques which preserve these foods to extend their life. Such amenities were not available in the past.

On the other side,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
over dependency on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
creates huge problems in our life. We can visualize huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the eating habits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
Further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
do not try to eat hygienic, healthy and fresh food and
instead
rely on the frozen source to fulfill their daily requirements.
However
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
required minerals and vitamins.
In addition
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
consume huge portion of electricity which
instead
we can save for the other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
work and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
our expenses.
Besides
, carbon emission caused by these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are threat to human
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
existence and
they are major contributor in the green
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
effect.
For instance
, in India both refrigerators and washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
contribute almost 50% in the monthly electricity bill. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rely on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

In conclusion
, as per my opinion
instead
of
overly
depend on electrical devices, we should explore alternate ways which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
save our time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
create minimum impact on the environment.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays more and more people are using consumer goods such as refrigerators and washing machines Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this Give your own opinion and examples v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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