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People are now living longer than ever before and many old people are unable to look after themselves Some people believe that it is responsibility of families to look after the elderly while others say governments should provide retirement homes for them v.1

People are now living longer than ever before and many old people are unable to look after themselves Some people believe that it is responsibility of families to look after the elderly while others say governments should provide retirement homes for them v. 1
When it comes to festivals, they are considered to play a pivotal role in connecting us with our ‎backgrounds by preserving and promoting national, cultural, and religious identities. It is often argued ‎that people have forgotten the original meaning of festivals, and many treat them as opportunities to ‎have fun. While I partially agree with this assertion, in my opinion, there are still numerous festivals ‎that are meaningful to individuals. ‎ On the one hand, enjoyment is the primary goal for some people who celebrate specific festivals. ‎Since people participate in these events to merely have fun, they will be distracted by pleasant ‎moments and forget about the real purposes of these ancient rituals. On top of that, families do not ‎take any steps to transfer these cultural heritages to their descendants. Halloween could be an ideal ‎example here; many children do not know the origin of Halloween symbols like carved pumpkin or ‎trick or treating or even the meaning of its name. ‎ On the other hand, the underlying ideas of many celebrations have not been forgotten yet. That is to ‎say, youngsters still learn about religious or cultural festivals by parents or schools in detail. In other ‎words, the meaning of such ceremonies is so intertwined with the fabric of society that is hard to be ‎decimated over time. To cite an example, Nowruz, the most fabulous Persian celebration, which ‎begins at the exact moment of spring, is well-known, not even by Iranian, but also by other ‎nationalities. ‎ In conclusion, although there are some events that people mainly want to enjoy themselves during ‎them without knowing their value, from my perspective, most of society is still aware of reasons for ‎many festivals. ‎
When it
comes
to
festivals
, they
are considered
to play a pivotal role in connecting us with our ‎backgrounds by preserving and promoting national, cultural, and religious identities. It is
often
argued ‎that
people
have forgotten the original meaning of
festivals
, and
many treat
them as opportunities to ‎have fun. While I
partially
agree
with this assertion, in my opinion, there are
still
numerous
festivals
‎that are meaningful to individuals. ‎

On the one hand, enjoyment is the primary goal for
some
people
who celebrate specific
festivals
. ‎Since
people
participate in these
events
to
merely
have fun, they will
be distracted
by pleasant ‎moments and forget about the real purposes of these ancient rituals.
On top of that
, families do not ‎take any steps to transfer these cultural heritages to their descendants. Halloween could be an ideal ‎example here;
many
children do not know the origin of Halloween symbols like carved pumpkin or ‎trick or treating or even the meaning of its name. ‎

On the other hand
, the underlying
ideas
of
many
celebrations have not
been forgotten
yet
.
That is
to ‎say, youngsters
still
learn about religious or cultural
festivals
by parents or schools in detail. In other ‎words, the meaning of such ceremonies is
so
intertwined with the fabric of society
that is
hard
to be ‎decimated over time. To cite an example,
Nowruz
, the most fabulous Persian celebration, which ‎
begins
at the exact moment of spring, is well-known, not even by Iranian,
but
also
by other ‎nationalities. ‎

In conclusion
, although there are
some
events
that
people
mainly
want to enjoy themselves during ‎them without knowing their value, from my perspective,
most of society
is
still
aware of reasons for ‎
many
festivals
. ‎
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay People are now living longer than ever before and many old people are unable to look after themselves Some people believe that it is responsibility of families to look after the elderly while others say governments should provide retirement homes for them v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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