Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

People are now living longer than ever before and many old people are unable to look after themselves. Some people believe that it is the responsibility of families to look after the elderly, while others say governments should provide retirement homes for them where they can be looked after properly. Discuss. v.2

People are now living longer than ever before and many old people are unable to look after themselves. Some people believe that it is the responsibility of families to look after the elderly, while others say governments should provide retirement homes for them where they can be looked after properly. Discuss. v. 2
Nowadays people are living more than 80 or even 100 years and most of them are unable to look after themselves. The controversy over who is responsible for providing service for elderly people is hot debated. Some individuals suggest that families are required to care the old people, others argue that the government should organise retirement homes for older people. In many countries, people firmly believe that families should take care the old ones who are unable to do it themselves. For example, in Russia and China, it is common believe that it is a responsibility of families and if a family decide to send their parents to the retirement home it is considered disrespectful. Therefore, most of the families do it themselves. There is a general believe that families can care better and provide reasonable services to their old generation rather than it could be done in the retirement homes where the service is poor and not sufficient enough. Not only this, it is considered that the most significant source of happiness can give grandchildren and children to the elderly whereas it cannot be provided by any of the retirement places. On the other hand, the different opinion exists that the government should ensure a place in the retirement homes for elderly. For example, in Australia and Canada people argue that the government should give a place to the eldest when they are unable to provide care for themselves because the families should work, raise their children and live their lives most of all looking after themselves and the next generation. In those countries, the way of thinking and believes vary to Russia and China and people can rely on such institutions like retirement homes to look after their parents where the service is good and pleasant. To sum up, there are two opinions about who should look after the old individuals and for different countries, there is a different way to go. In my opinion, no matter who takes care the old parents, it should be done properly and from the bottom of the hard. In the perfect situation, a balance is required between families and the retirement homes to look after the eldest.
Nowadays
people
are living more than 80 or even 100 years and most of them are unable to
look
after themselves. The controversy over
who
is responsible for providing
service
for elderly
people
is
hot debated.
Some
individuals suggest that
families
are required
to
care
the
old
people
, others argue that the
government
should
organise
retirement
homes
for older
people
.

In
many
countries,
people
firmly
believe
that
families
should take
care
the
old
ones
who
are unable to do it themselves.
For example
, in Russia and China, it is common
believe
that it is a responsibility of
families
and if a
family
decide to
send
their parents to the
retirement
home it
is considered
disrespectful.
Therefore
, most of the
families
do it themselves. There is a general
believe
that
families
can
care
better and provide reasonable
services
to their
old
generation
rather
than it could
be done
in the
retirement
homes
where the
service
is poor and not sufficient
enough
. Not
only
this, it
is considered
that the most significant source of happiness can give grandchildren and children to the elderly whereas it cannot
be provided
by any of the
retirement
places.

On the other hand
, the
different
opinion exists that the
government
should ensure a place in the
retirement
homes
for elderly.
For example
, in Australia and Canada
people
argue that the
government
should give a place to the eldest when they are unable to provide
care
for themselves
because
the
families
should work, raise their children and
live
their
lives
most of all looking after themselves and the
next
generation. In those countries, the way of thinking and
believes
vary to Russia and China and
people
can rely on such institutions like
retirement
homes
to
look
after their parents where the
service
is
good
and pleasant.

To sum up, there are two opinions about
who
should
look
after the
old
individuals and for
different
countries, there is a
different
way to go. In my opinion, no matter
who
takes
care
the
old
parents, it should
be done
properly
and from the bottom of the
hard
. In the perfect situation, a balance
is required
between
families
and the
retirement
homes
to
look
after the eldest.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay People are now living longer than ever before and many old people are unable to look after themselves. Some people believe that it is the responsibility of families to look after the elderly, while others say governments should provide retirement homes for them where they can be looked after properly. Discuss. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts