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More and more are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work? What will be consequences of this? What solutions can you offer? v.2

More and more are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work? What will be consequences of this? What solutions can you offer? v. 2
In recent years, many rural people have been migrating into urban areas as they don't want to continue to work in agriculture jobs. Destruction of agriculture industry can not be unavoidable, if this situation continued to grow; therefore the government has to implement some rules and regulations to manage this situation under control. One possible issue here is, since a large group of rural residents relocates into cities, this would severely damage the rural villages. In other words, this places may be abandoned along with its agriculture sector, which means Indian economy is going to suffer in coming years. For instance, a recent survey has reported that the number of youngsters who work in farming is reducing significantly, which would lead severe food scarcity later on. The main reason of this dwelling is that this industry does not provide a sufficient industry earnings for workers to run their family. Nevertheless, despite the above mentioned consequences of city dwelling, this can be effectively tackled by the government strong initiatives. Firstly, the authority should invest money for the development the rural area infrastructures to promote farming: agriculture skill development institutions, equipment sales and service centre, and markets for selling of agriculture products. By doing this, gradually, the industry would flourish and farmers could make profit out of it. Additionally, the government ensures that the basic requirements of the rural area must be developed to meet the demand of local. Therefore, they, consequently, prefer to live their rural place, rather than into cities By way of conclusion, even though city dwelling causes a wide range problems on farming in rural villages, this would be tackled by the government when they take prompt action for the same.
In recent years,
many
rural
people
have been migrating into urban areas as they don't want to continue to work in
agriculture
jobs. Destruction of
agriculture
industry
can not be unavoidable, if this situation continued to grow;
therefore
the
government
has to
implement
some
rules
and regulations to manage this situation under control.

One possible issue here is, since a large group of
rural
residents relocates into cities, this would
severely
damage the
rural
villages.
In other words
, this places may
be abandoned
along with its
agriculture
sector, which means Indian economy is going to suffer in coming years.
For instance
, a recent survey has reported that the number of youngsters who work in farming is reducing
significantly
, which would lead severe food scarcity later on. The main reason of this dwelling is that this
industry
does not provide a sufficient
industry
earnings for workers to run their family.

Nevertheless
, despite the above mentioned consequences of city dwelling, this can be
effectively
tackled by the
government
strong initiatives.
Firstly
, the authority should invest money for the development the
rural
area infrastructures to promote farming:
agriculture
skill
development institutions, equipment sales and service
centre
, and markets for selling of
agriculture
products. By doing this,
gradually
, the
industry
would flourish and farmers could
make
profit out of it.
Additionally
, the
government
ensures that the basic requirements of the
rural
area
must
be developed
to
meet
the demand of local.
Therefore
, they,
consequently
, prefer to
live
their
rural
place,
rather
than into cities

By way of conclusion,
even though
city dwelling causes a wide range problems on farming in
rural
villages, this would
be tackled
by the
government
when they take prompt action for the same.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work? What will be consequences of this? What solutions can you offer? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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