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People are less fit and active nowadays than in the past. What are the reasons for this? What measures can be taken to fix this? v.1

People are less fit and active nowadays than in the past. What are the reasons for this? What measures can be taken to fix this? v. 1
In the modern world, we all face a lot of problems be it in relation to the work life or in the sphere of personal life. There are numerous problems that we all are facing and the biggest problem that everyone is struggling with is staying fit. The problem is taking its toll on everyone and with the passage of time the level of fitness is decreasing. The essay will deal with the cause and the steps one can take in order to achieve the level of fitness which has been jeopardizing the health of an individual. There is a number of health problems that are affecting a lot of people nowadays. However, it is believed that the biggest issue that is the root cause of the problem is the decreasing level of fitness. The nub of the problem is that the level of commitment for the people towards their work has increased which has increased multi-folds the amount of stress one is facing. The rising level of stress has been affecting the people. For instance, in a study conducted by the University of Illinois had observed that the people who have increased stress in their lives are being affected in terms of losing their overall fitness as they are left with no time for their own self and the stress is eating them inside. Thus, things ought to be balanced before they reach a saturation point. On the other hand, there is a number of an effective solution that is available to be dealt with by the problem. The number of solution cannot work altogether and as such one needs to pick an effective and useful method to deal with the problem effectively. The change can be brought in the right direction by striking a balance between the levels of commitment that one has towards their work and giving some time for their own self which would effectively help in achieving the desired level with fitness. The level of fitness could be in terms of mental fitness or overall fitness. These two can be achieved in a different manner. For example, a study conducted by Health & Wellbeing Magazine, it was found that the effective method by which one can achieve mental fitness by reducing the level of stress and for the overall fitness meditation coupled with yoga can effectively help a person to less the degradation of fitness of a person Therefore, the two methods are tried and tested to help people reach a specific level of fitness which will benefit them. In conclusion, the people need to maintain a balance in their life and further, take up any method which has been proven to reach a specific level of fitness. The same will help them in an overall manner.
In the modern world, we all face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
be it in relation to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
life or in the sphere of personal life. There are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that we all are facing and the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that everyone is struggling with is staying fit. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is taking its toll on everyone and with the passage of time the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
is decreasing. The essay will deal with the cause and the steps one can take in order to achieve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
which has been jeopardizing the health of an individual.

There is a number of health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that are affecting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays.
However
, it
is believed
that the biggest issue
that is
the root cause of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is the decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
. The nub of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of commitment for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
has increased which has increased multi-folds the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
one is facing. The rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
has been affecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, in a study conducted by the University of Illinois had observed that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
in terms of losing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
as they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with no time for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
self and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is eating them inside.
Thus
, things ought to
be balanced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they reach a saturation point.

On the other hand
, there is a number of an effective solution
that is
available to
be dealt
with by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. The number of solution cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
altogether and as such one needs to pick an effective and useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
to deal with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
effectively
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
can
be brought
in the right direction by striking a balance between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of commitment that one has towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
self which would
effectively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in achieving the desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
could be in terms of mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
. These two can
be achieved
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
manner.
For example
, a study conducted by Health &
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wellbeing
Magazine, it
was found
that the effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
by which one can achieve mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
by reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
and for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
meditation coupled with yoga can
effectively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
a person to less the degradation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
of a person
Therefore
, the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
are tried
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reach a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
which will benefit them.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to maintain a balance in their life and
further
, take up any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
which has
been proven
to reach a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
. The same will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overall
manner.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
60Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay People are less fit and active nowadays than in the past. What are the reasons for this? What measures can be taken to fix this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
462 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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