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In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing. v.4

In recent years, the majority of people suffering from their health and fitness due to their unconventional lifestyle. Hence, this essay will discuss the causes and the solution that is articulated in trail paragraphs. to commence with, health plays a vital role in our lives and the main problem of increasing weight due to improper sleep at night and the consumption of junk food. To quote an example, according to the news of the USA fifty percent of people eat junk food every day as they have no proper time to make homemade food due to the busy schedule of their work. Moreover, people eat street food considering it as a perfect meal for a day and that badly affects on their weight. For example, according to the news of the Times of India in the USA around 45% of people from the age of 18-25 are obese by eating restaurant food such as pizza, burgers, and sugary items. Furthermore, people are not doing any exercise due to their laziness that badly affects on gaining body weight and fitness. From this health issue problem occurs such as diabetes and many more diseases.
In recent years, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering from their health and fitness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to their unconventional lifestyle.
Hence
, this essay will discuss the causes and the solution that
is articulated
in trail paragraphs.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
to
commence with, health plays a vital role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and the main problem of increasing weight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to improper sleep at night and the consumption of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. To quote an example, according to the news of the USA fifty percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eat junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
every day as they have no proper time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
homemade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the busy schedule of their work.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eat street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
considering it as a perfect meal for a day and that
badly
affects on their weight.
For example
, according to the news of
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
the Times of India
in the USA around 45% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the age of 18-25 are obese by eating restaurant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
such as pizza, burgers, and sugary items.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not doing any exercise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to their laziness that
badly
affects on gaining body weight and fitness. From this health issue problem occurs such as diabetes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more diseases.
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IELTS essay In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness decreasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
192 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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