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People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption? v.3

People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption? v. 3
The consumption of sugary drinks has significantly increased in recent years. The highly additive ingredients in these beverages are the major reason for this, and several measures can be implemented to reduce sugar-sweetened beverage intake. In terms of the principal reason behind the rise in sugar-based drink consumption, sugar and caffeine – the two most addictive properties found in most sugary beverages – are the main culprits. These substances give people an instant energy boost to help them focus more effectively on their work, but they also cause a drop in energy quickly after consumption so that they have to drink another one to get an extra boost. In addition, sugar is so addictive that many people find it impossible to quit consuming soft drinks or other sugar-based beverages. Those who stop drinking beverages with added sugar or other sweeteners for a short period of time might experience some common withdrawal symptoms, such as headaches, tiredness or poor concentration. A number of approaches can be taken to reduce the consumption of sugary drinks. A tax on such products might be an effective solution as people might think twice before buying a coke or a soda, for example. Another measure would be to limit advertisements promoting sugar-sweetened drinks that are directly targeted at children and young people. Instead, there should be more programmes, billboards and posters that educate on healthy eating and the health risks associated with the excessive consumption of sugar-based beverages. In conclusion, the addiction caused by some properties in sugary drinks is the primary reason why more and more people are consuming such products. Despite this, there are various actions that can be taken to discourage people from drinking sugary beverages.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
has
significantly
increased in recent years. The
highly
additive ingredients in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beverages
are the major reason for this, and several measures can
be implemented
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
sugar-sweetened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beverage
intake.

In terms of the principal reason behind the rise in sugar-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
, sugar and caffeine
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
the two most addictive properties found in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beverages
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
are the main culprits. These substances give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
an instant energy boost to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them focus more
effectively
on their work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
cause a drop in energy
quickly
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
another one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an extra boost.
In addition
, sugar is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
addictive that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it impossible to quit consuming soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
or other sugar-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beverages
. Those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beverages
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar or other sweeteners for a short period of time might experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
common withdrawal symptoms, such as headaches, tiredness or poor concentration.

A number of approaches can
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
. A tax on such products might be an effective solution as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying a coke or a soda,
for example
. Another measure would be to limit advertisements promoting sugar-sweetened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
that are
directly
targeted at children and young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Instead
, there should be more
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
, billboards and posters that educate on healthy eating and the health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
associated with the excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of sugar-based beverages.

In conclusion
, the addiction caused by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
properties in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
is the primary reason why more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are consuming such products. Despite this, there are various actions that can
be taken
to discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beverages
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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