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Parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having large number of toys? v.1

Parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having large number of toys? v. 1
Infantile hours play a pivotal role to determine an offspring's future. Nowadays, parents provide infants a number of toys to pass their time. The salient benefit of possessing a host of play-instruments are that they can be under the strict vigilance of parents and can avoid licentious fellows. However, the probable drawbacks can be the lack of socialization. It is the proclivity that multiplicity of parents chooses to purchase dolls, toy-house, toy-Dog for their children to spend time with them. Definitely, it will produce some perilous inconveniences. Firstly, when they will be busy with toys instead of playfellows, they will hardly have acquaintance with their ecology, society which are significant elements for socialization. As a result, they will be abortive to obtain social learnings that will assist them to attain the apex position of career. Furthermore, Without being familiar with ambience, they will make a few minimal friends, which will be a noticeable obstacle to be socialized appropriately. For example, in India, a report demonstrated, approximately 33% of infants are futile to cope up with the remaining offsprings who acquainted themselves before society in the score of selecting Baby dolls and toy-cats as their children's mates by mothers. On the other hand, it has several conveniences. The prime point can be that if children play with Dolls, toy-house, then they will always be at home that protect them from being deviant. In addition to it, parents can monitor them sternly. The next opportunity is that when offsprings will play with them, they will stay home and will receive meals on time which will promote their health. For example, in Bangladesh, the government enacted a low concerning child's game. The rule indicated that they are not allowed to play outdoor games to save them from wicked children fear of being perverse. To conclude, toys are important childhood determinants. The principle disadvantages of playing with toys would be the lack of socialization and the main advantages can be to have children under the austere monitoring.
Infantile hours
play
a pivotal role to determine an offspring's future. Nowadays,
parents
provide infants a number of
toys
to pass their time. The salient benefit of possessing a host of play-instruments are that they can be under the strict vigilance of
parents
and can avoid licentious fellows.
However
, the probable drawbacks can be the lack of socialization.

It is the proclivity that multiplicity of
parents
chooses to
purchase
dolls, toy-
house
, toy-Dog for their
children
to spend time with them. Definitely, it will produce
some
perilous inconveniences.
Firstly
, when they will be busy with
toys
instead
of playfellows, they will hardly have acquaintance with their ecology, society which are significant elements for socialization.
As a result
, they will be abortive to obtain social learnings that will assist them to attain the apex position of career.
Furthermore
, Without being familiar with ambience, they will
make
a few minimal friends, which will be a noticeable obstacle to
be socialized
appropriately
.
For example
, in India, a report demonstrated, approximately 33% of infants are futile to cope up with the remaining
offsprings
who acquainted themselves
before
society in the score of selecting Baby dolls and toy-cats as their children's mates by mothers.

On the other hand
, it has several conveniences. The prime point can be that if
children
play
with Dolls, toy-
house
, then they will always be at home that protect them from being deviant.
In addition
to it,
parents
can monitor them
sternly
. The
next
opportunity is that when
offsprings
will
play
with them, they will stay home and will receive meals on time which will promote their health.
For example
, in Bangladesh, the
government
enacted a low concerning child's game. The
rule
indicated that they are not
allowed
to
play
outdoor games to save them from wicked
children
fear of being perverse.

To conclude
,
toys
are
important
childhood determinants. The principle disadvantages of playing with
toys
would be the lack of socialization and the main advantages can be to have
children
under the austere monitoring.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having large number of toys? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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