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Parents are the best teachers. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Parents are the best teachers. v. 2
In this era of globalization, most children encounter many problems, as well as, they need some help to overcome them. Although, many believe that teachers and society are the best teachers. I claim that parents play a key role in growing and educating infant. I felt this way for these reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. Firstly, when a toddler comes to this world, he or she just knows her or his parents. During the beginning of their life, they learn their parents’ attitudes and try to act like them. As most of scientists argue that character would be created by the age of five until then. In fact, all information and sources of life would be got from their mother and father at this age. In my opinion, according to this reason, all children take after their parents. Secondly, I believe that most children have learned cognitive skill and problems. That’s why, teachers should be occupied with their pupils to tackle this problem. However, teachers can teach once or twice, but their time is limited. Plus, parents also have more time, especially mothers would not be tired of repeating one thing over and over for their infant. Finally, parents understand their youth abilities and weak sides. As a result, they can find a better way to maintain their strengths and improve their weaknesses. As an example, should you have shy feelings, parents will give help to improve your drawbacks. In conclusion, I agree that parents are the best mentors for their children. As parents care for their children more than anyone else, offspring can follow them.
In this era of globalization, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems,
as well
as, they need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to overcome them. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and society are the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. I claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play a key role in growing and educating infant. I felt this way for these reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

Firstly
, when a toddler
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to this world, he or she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
knows her or his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. During the beginning of their life, they learn their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
attitudes and try to act like them. As
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the scientists") or simply say "most scientists".
most of scientists
argue that character would
be created
by the age of five until then. In fact, all information and sources of life would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
from their mother and father at this age. In my opinion, according to this reason, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
take after their parents.

Secondly
, I believe that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have learned cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and problems. That’s why,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should
be occupied
with their pupils to tackle this problem.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can teach once or twice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their time
is limited
. Plus,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
also
have more time,
especially
mothers would not
be tired
of repeating one thing over and over for their infant.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
understand their youth abilities and weak sides.
As a result
, they can find a better way to maintain their strengths and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their weaknesses. As an example, should you have shy feelings,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your drawbacks.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the best mentors for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
care for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more than anyone else, offspring can follow them.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Parents are the best teachers. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
270 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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