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Parents and teachers make many rules for children to encourage good behaviour and protect them from danger. However, children would benefit from fewer rules and greater freedom. v.1

Parents and teachers make many rules for children to encourage good behaviour and protect them from danger. However, children would benefit from fewer rules and greater freedom. v. 1
To teach children good behaviours, respect for elders and dealing with society effectively teachers and parents impose so many rules. Since childhood we have grown up with many don'ts and do's which directly and indirectly taught us many lessons of life and made our life easy, comfortable and successful. As a rule, parents define timetables of all the activities to be done in a day which is called good habits like getting up early morning, staying clean, having food in time, respecting elders, loving youngers, not to trouble anyone and so on. If a child follows these rules would greatly benefit in future life like having a healthy life, being amiable and punctual, caring others etc. The rule means a protection shield from possible harms. Out of their experience of their life, our elders ask us to follow the rules and stop us if we are going towards the wrong path. Moreover, these rules and punctuality would protect us from so many bad habits and keep us alert to choose right friends, become a good citizen and being able to take responsibilities. In another way, if the children who are always under control and pressure of their parent's strict rules they face another challenge of life. For example, those children will be less confident, poor in decision-making skills and would not be able to lead others. They take the time to mingle with society and hesitate to interact with anyone. They look for their elders always to show them the path and lead them. As a result, they would not be able to face the real world and other people can take advantages of that because they do not have the sensibility to distinguish between right and wrong sometimes. Hence I agree there should be certain rules to make children learn good things but we should not crush their emotions and feelings. It's parents and teachers’ responsibility to teach them why they have to follow the rules and how few things are not good for them. Sometimes they are needed to be given a chance to learn and face the society all by their own so that they should be free and alert to accept challenges, deal those issues and come up with a solution. This attitude and freedom will lead children to become better and stronger persons.
To teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
, respect for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
and dealing with society
effectively
teachers and parents impose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
. Since
The comma is probably missing here: "childhood, we".
childhood we
have grown up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Did you mean "don't"?
don'
ts and
Do not use 's with a verb. Did you mean "does"?
do's
which
directly
and
indirectly
taught us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
lessons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and made our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easy, comfortable and successful.

As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
, parents define timetables of all the activities to
be done
in a day which
is called
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
habits like getting up early morning, staying clean, having food in time, respecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
, loving
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
, not to trouble anyone and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. If a child follows these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
would
greatly
benefit in future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
like having a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, being amiable and punctual, caring others etc. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
means a protection shield from possible harms. Out of their experience of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
ask us to follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
us if we are going towards the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path.

Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and punctuality would protect us from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
us alert to choose right friends, become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
citizen and being able to take responsibilities.

In another way, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are always under control and pressure of their parent's strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
they face another challenge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be less confident, poor in decision-making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and would not be able to lead others. They take the time to mingle with society and hesitate to interact with anyone. They look for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
always to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them the path and lead them.
As a result
, they would not be able to face the real world and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can take advantages of that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have the sensibility to distinguish between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
there should be certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should not crush their emotions and feelings. It's parents and teachers’ responsibility to teach them why they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and how few things are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
they
are needed
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance to learn and face the society all by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they should be free and alert to accept challenges, deal those issues and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with a solution. This attitude and freedom will lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to become better and stronger persons.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Parents and teachers make many rules for children to encourage good behaviour and protect them from danger. However, children would benefit from fewer rules and greater freedom. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
388 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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