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Some people think that the teenage ages are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. v.1

Some people think that the teenage ages are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. v. 1
Different individuals have their own opinion about the happiest phase in the human's life. According to one camp, college years are the cheeriest times in the individual's life, while according to the other camp, people are gladder when they are fully grown-up. In this essay, both the outlooks will be critiqued before reaching the reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, some people feel that adolescent life is joyful than the matured. The reason for believing this is that the youths do not have any duties and can live a carefree life. In other words, no one is actually dependent on them and thereby, they can spend most of the time performing the task they enjoy the most. Thus, it is apparent that they can feel satisfied with whatever they do and in turn, will always live a happy life. On the other hand, there are groups of individuals who consider adulthood as the most blissful phase of the life. The people advocate such concept because they feel that a person can experience happiness only when they are able to satisfy other's needs. This means that for such people definition of happiness is being able to fulfil their responsibilities and the desires of their closed ones. Therefore, the theory of grown-ups with duties being the most contented living creatures is difficult to debunk. In conclusion, although having no responsibilities can help people to stay happy, but knowing that they are able to satisfy their relatives requirements brings more happiness. Thus, it is seen that older people are happier than the young people.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
individuals have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion about the happiest phase in the human's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. According to one camp, college years are the cheeriest times in the individual's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, while according to the other camp,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are gladder when they are
fully
grown-up. In this essay, both the outlooks will
be critiqued
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching the reasoned conclusion.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that adolescent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
Use "joyfuller" to make a comparison with this adjective.
joyful
than the matured. The reason for believing this is that the youths do not have any duties and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a carefree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
In other words
, no one is actually dependent on them and thereby, they can spend most of the time performing the task they enjoy the most.
Thus
, it is apparent that they can feel satisfied with whatever they do and in turn, will always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a happy life.

On the other hand
, there are groups of individuals who consider adulthood as the most blissful phase of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
advocate such concept
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel that a person can experience happiness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when they are able to satisfy other's needs. This means that for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
definition of happiness is being able to fulfil their responsibilities and the desires of their closed ones.
Therefore
, the theory of grown-ups with duties being the most contented living creatures is difficult to debunk.

In conclusion
, although having no responsibilities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay happy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
knowing that they are able to satisfy their relatives requirements brings more happiness.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are happier than the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the teenage ages are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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