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Some experts argue that mobile gadgets have more benefits than bad affects. How do you think about it? Explain both sides. v.1

Some experts argue that mobile gadgets have more benefits than bad affects. How do you think about it? Explain both sides. v. 1
In the modern society, it cannot be imagined our daily life without new gadgets especially phones. There is an ongoing debate among people about cell phones and if it should be viewed as a positive or negative impact to people. In my essay, both points of view are going to be examined and a particular opinion will be provided. There are several reasons why mobile phones are considered to be advantageous to society. One of them is that having a mobile phone is, you can communicate to your friends where you are. For example, you can contact easily to your acquainted people by calling or sending messages everywhere and this is maybe main reason why today almost all people choose to own phones. Moreover, cell phones can be a good source of information to learn new thing if it is used correctly. For instance, we are aware of latest news around the world. As the coin has two sides, the phone has its drawbacks as well as its usefulness. Some people hold the idea that it can be a bad thing. Firstly, it is claimed that too much using smart phones can damage our brain. If we use mobile phones a lot, you will get bad effects like eyes or ears problems. It can also be argued that we tend to waste hours in using telephones instead of studying or working. In addition, it may cause death, because some people use phones during driving, so it may cause of accident. From my point of view, it is really true that cell phones have more benefits outweigh its drawbacks. I would strongly recommend not to waste time because of phones, always try to less use of smart phones and save your time and spend it on good ways.
In the modern society, it cannot
be imagined
our daily life without new gadgets
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. There is an ongoing debate among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and if it should
be viewed
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my essay, both points of view are going to
be examined
and a particular opinion will
be provided
.

There are several reasons why mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are considered
to be advantageous to society. One of them is that having a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is, you can communicate to your friends where you are.
For example
, you can contact
easily
to your acquainted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by calling or sending messages everywhere and this is maybe main reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
Moreover
, cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of information to learn new thing if it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
correctly
.
For instance
, we are aware of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
news around the world. As the coin has two sides, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has its drawbacks
as well
as its usefulness.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thing.
Firstly
, it
is claimed
that too much using smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can damage our brain. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
a lot, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects like eyes or ears problems. It can
also
be argued
that we tend to waste hours in using telephones
instead
of studying or working.
In addition
, it may cause death,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
during driving,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it may cause of accident.

From my point of view, it is
really
true that cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have more benefits outweigh its drawbacks. I would
strongly
recommend not to waste time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, always try to less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and save your time and spend it on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ways.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some experts argue that mobile gadgets have more benefits than bad affects. How do you think about it? Explain both sides. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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