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Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems. v.32

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems. v. 32
Overpopulation in cities and urban areas is a growing problem that governments and individuals have to take into account seriously. They should work together to reduce the inconveniences caused by it. This essay will examine what are the issues caused by overcrowding and discuss on solutions. First of all, we can truly affirm that the first result of overpopulation in towns is without any doubts congestion and traffic jams which lead to serious pollution problems. Another inconvenience due to overcrowding is garbage from inhabitants. Many cities do not have the means to handle the charge of rubbish casting away by its habitants which lead to unclean cities. The lack of decent accommodation is also a growing problem that cities must deal with. Many people are unable to find a place to live in which is a step back for cities’ development. However and fortunately, if we sit down a minute to think about what each of us could do to tackle this problem it is not hard to find a solution. Individuals should use public transports as often as they can rather than using their own car and the government should build more roads and improve public transportation to address this issue. To handle the garbage flowing in streets they should sort out rubbish they throw away. For accommodation problems, the poorest should establish the sharing flats system. The government can expand the area and can help building more building to handle the accommodation issue. On its own side, governments might set a tax for car owners and develop public transports back with the earned money. For a cleaner city, they should create advertisements in order to educate its people about what to do with rubbish and give a fine to someone spotted for throwing a paper, rubbish or dust in the street. Finally, to overcome the accommodation problem governments should build more infrastructures for people in need. To sum up, we all know that these problems are worrying and growing but if every one of us thinks about what they can do to make it better. I am sure that these issues could be solved.
Overpopulation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and urban areas is a growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take into account
seriously
. They should work together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the inconveniences caused by it. This essay will examine what are the issues caused by overcrowding and discuss on solutions.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, we can
truly
affirm that the
first
result of overpopulation in towns is without any doubts congestion and traffic jams which lead to serious pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Another inconvenience due to overcrowding is garbage from inhabitants.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
do not have the means to handle the charge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rubbish
casting away by its habitants which lead to unclean cities.

The lack of decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
is
also
a growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
deal with.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are unable to find a place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in which is a step back for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities’
development.

However
and
fortunately
, if we sit down a minute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about what each of us could do to tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find a solution. Individuals should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transports as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
as they can
rather
than using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
car and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should build more roads and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
public transportation to address this issue.

To handle the garbage flowing in streets they should sort out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rubbish
they throw away. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, the poorest should establish the sharing
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "flats'" or "flat's"?
flats
system. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can expand the area and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to build" or "build".
building
more building to handle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
issue.

On its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
might set a tax for car owners and develop public transports back with the earned money. For a cleaner city, they should create advertisements in order to educate its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about what to do with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rubbish
and give a fine to someone spotted for throwing a paper,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rubbish
or dust in the street.
Finally
, to overcome the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should build more infrastructures for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in need.

To sum up, we all know that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are worrying and growing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if every one of us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
about what they can do to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it better. I am sure that these issues could
be solved
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems. v. 32

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
356 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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