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Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems. v.7

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems. v. 7
In recent decades, the world population has surged dramatically due to some reasons which lead to numerous widespread issues. This essay will discuss some negative outcomes of this phenomenon and then introduce some potential solutions to prevent or reduce these effects. First of all, it should be said that overpopulation is one of the main contributors to many environmental problems such as pollution, deforestation, and global warming. Studies delineate that human activities including industrial factories and carbon fuel transportation which lead to carbon dioxide emission increase can speed up climate change. In addition, intensive farming, as one another subsequence of overpopulated areas can damage the local ecosystem in a serious way. As a result, the most significant challenge the current overpopulated world is facing is environment-related issues. Moreover, greater demands on resources can result in less access to supplies and facilities such as freshwater, healthy food, medical care, education, proper housing and consequently leading to poor economic conditions known as poverty. On the other hand, there are some potential solutions to the control population rates and its negative effects. The first and most obvious way is better sex education to help people learn more about birth control methods, as well as providing them suitable contraceptives. Furthermore, governments can implement some changes in their policies related to childbirth. Above all, every citizen, as a contributor to this worrying situation, should play an effective role in global improvement. Reducing individual carbon footprint on a wide scale through using sustainable transportation modes, consuming more organic foods, and fewer animal products, and efficient energy usage with the help of smart applications, are just some of few principles that every person can follow in order to reduce its negative impacts on the environment. In conclusion, the first major outcome of overpopulation is related to the environment in the long-term, and poverty is the second drawback in the short-term. Although it seems too late to tackle these problems, both governments and individuals can take some steps to control the following disruptive results of overpopulation.
In recent decades, the world population has surged
dramatically
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons which lead to numerous widespread issues. This essay will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes of this phenomenon and then introduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
these effects.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it should
be said
that overpopulation is one of the main contributors to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
environmental problems such as pollution, deforestation, and global warming. Studies delineate that human activities including industrial factories and carbon fuel transportation which lead to carbon dioxide emission increase can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
speed up
climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
In addition
, intensive farming, as one another subsequence of overpopulated areas can damage the local ecosystem
Consider replacing "in a serious way" with the adverb for "serious"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a serious way
.
As a result
, the most significant challenge the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
overpopulated world is facing is environment-related issues.
Moreover
, greater demands on resources can result in less access to supplies and facilities such as freshwater, healthy food, medical care, education, proper housing and
consequently
leading to poor economic conditions known as poverty.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential solutions to the control population rates and its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects. The
first
and most obvious way is better sex education to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
learn more about birth control methods,
as well
as providing them suitable contraceptives.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can implement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their policies related to childbirth.
Above all
, every citizen, as a contributor to this worrying situation, should play an effective role in global improvement. Reducing individual carbon footprint on a wide scale through using sustainable transportation modes, consuming more organic foods, and fewer animal products, and efficient energy usage with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of smart applications, are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of few principles that every person can follow in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the environment.

In conclusion
, the
first
major outcome of overpopulation
is related
to the environment in the long-term, and poverty is the second drawback in the short-term. Although it seems too late to tackle these problems, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and individuals can take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps to control the following disruptive results of overpopulation.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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