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Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems. v.1

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems. v. 1
The number of inhabitants in urban areas has dramatically increasing for the past few decades, which results in desperate complications. This essay will chiefly focus on two drastic issues ensuing on overpopulation in cities and some viable remedies to tackle the matters. The increase in population of municipal areas is the primary cause for environmental pollution. People have a buoyant demand for commuting to work and travelling in towns by cars and motorbikes. Therefore, the immense amount of exhaust fumes including highly carbon dioxide is emitted directly into the air, which makes severe impacts on the atmosphere. Household waste, is one of pressing issues in cities, which has been rising in amount along with the increase of population. In some areas, the streets and rivers seem to be littered with full of plastic rubbish without any hesitation. Besides, the considerable need for housing in overpopulated municipal areas is also predominant issue so that various towering buildings have been being built. However, the price of a house or even an average apartment becomes more expensive so that low-class residents such as workers and vendors are unlike to afford for housing. There are several possible-counter deeds that could be taken to eradicate problems described above. A first solution would be for governments to allocate money from government budget to invest in public transport across cities. Along with that, governments should exhort local inhabitants to make full use of public vehicles by offering subsidies. Secondly, shopping centers should take advantage of recyclable bags such as paper-made and biodegradable bags to contain commodities to prevent consumers from throwing away plastic garbage everywhere. Finally, governments could remedy the situation by conducting a project of public apartments to give workers and vendors a stable accommodation to live with low cost. In conclusion, various measures could be taken to grapple the problems that are certain to stem from the rise of residents in towns.
The number of inhabitants in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
has
dramatically
increasing for the past few decades, which results in desperate complications. This essay will
chiefly
focus on two drastic issues ensuing on overpopulation in cities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
viable remedies to tackle the matters.

The increase in population of municipal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is the primary cause for environmental pollution.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have a buoyant demand for commuting to work and travelling in towns by cars and motorbikes.
Therefore
, the immense amount of exhaust fumes including
highly
carbon dioxide
is emitted
directly
into the air, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
severe impacts on the atmosphere. Household waste, is one of pressing issues in cities, which has been rising in amount along with the increase of population. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, the streets and rivers seem to
be littered
with full of plastic rubbish without any hesitation.
Besides
, the considerable need for housing in overpopulated municipal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is
also
predominant issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that various towering buildings have been
being built
.
However
, the price of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or even an average apartment becomes more expensive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that low-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
residents such as workers and vendors are unlike to afford for housing.

There are several possible-counter deeds that could
be taken
to eradicate problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
above. A
first
solution would be for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to allocate money from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
budget to invest in public transport across cities. Along with that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should exhort local inhabitants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
full
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of public vehicles by offering subsidies.
Secondly
, shopping centers should take advantage of recyclable bags such as paper-made and biodegradable bags to contain commodities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
consumers from throwing away plastic garbage everywhere.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
could remedy the situation by conducting a project of public apartments to give workers and vendors
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "stable accommodation".
a stable accommodation
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with low cost.

In conclusion
, various measures could
be taken
to grapple the problems that are certain to stem from the rise of residents in towns.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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