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Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems. v.24

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems. v. 24
Nowadays, many large cities struggle in the problem about overpopulation. This essay will be given some problems and suggestions to governments and individuals which will be solve this problem. Numerous problems are one of the issues that the governments need to concern because this problem is leading to many social problems. For example, higher number of populations will be increasing a lot of consumer demand, including food, infrastructure and health care. Thus, the governments should spend a large amount of money to provide all citizens. The best ways that the governments must take an action is to reduce the population rate by legislating laws to restrict newborn like in one family do not allow to have more than 2 children. In terms of individuals, family, the main factor is higher budget to take care children if they have many children. For instance, some children do not get an opportunity to go to school because they come from poverty, which have many kids to take care. Thus, this situation causes the lack of children’s education and it will lead to lack of knowledge for long living and criminal problems in the future. In addition, when they grow up, they always get someone pregnant and give a birth. So, the recommendation is educating children by supporting education to them is the best solution for personal. In conclusion, although the overpopulation problem in the urban areas is a difficult issue to solve, but if every section collaborates together, this problem will be declining soon.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
large cities struggle in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
about overpopulation. This essay will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and suggestions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and individuals which will be
Consider using the past participle "solved"?
solve
this problem.

Numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are one of the issues that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
need to concern
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is leading to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
For example
, higher number of populations will be increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
consumer demand, including food, infrastructure and health care.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should spend a large amount of money to provide all citizens. The best ways that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take an action is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the population rate by legislating laws to restrict newborn like in one family do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to have more than 2 children.

In terms of individuals, family, the main factor is higher budget to take care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
if they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity to go to school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from poverty, which have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kids to take care.
Thus
, this situation causes the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
education and it will lead to lack of knowledge for long living and criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the future.
In addition
, when they grow up, they always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
someone pregnant and give a birth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the recommendation is educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by supporting education to them is the best solution for personal.

In conclusion
, although the overpopulation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in the urban areas is a difficult issue to solve,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if every section collaborates together, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
will be declining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems. v. 24

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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