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Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree? v.5

Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. v. 5
It is commonly known that innovation has become more and more common in today’s learning environment, such as public libraries. While some people argue that libraries should provide only printed materials, others believe that new technologies and services, such as computers, softwares and hardwares, should be used to facilitate students’ learning, and I agree with the latter as opposed to the former. Firstly, public libraries should adapt to accommodate new applications of technology for learning, research, and information because students learn their subjects in different ways. Learning through different channels helps students to understand their lectures from different perspectives. This is a fact that has been proven by a recent study carried out by the University of Toronto in which students learn 80% faster when they can access the internet for self-study purposes. Since not everyone learns the same way, it is therefore evident that new learning technologies should be available for students at public libraries. Secondly, if libraries provided books only, knowledge acquisition would be limited. This is because the books get damaged by time and the information written gets obsolete. To illustrate such phenomenon, a study carried out by the University of Cambridge has found that 20% of the bookshelves were getting mold from humidity and consequently damaging the older books, making them disposable. Since papers and books get outdated and damaged, it is therefore clear that technology should be heavily invested in public libraries to more effectively preserve and mine their collections online. In conclusion, the increasing investment in educational technology has brought up a lot of opportunities for students. Hence, public libraries should not be an exception of such trend and high-tech media should be used to keep knowledge available for library users.
It is
commonly
known that innovation has become more and more common in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
environment, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that libraries should provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
printed materials, others believe that new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
and services, such as computers,
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwares
, should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to facilitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter as opposed to the former.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries should adapt to accommodate new applications of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
, research, and information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn their subjects in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
channels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to understand their lectures from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives. This is a fact that has
been proven
by a recent study carried out by the University of Toronto in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn 80% faster when they can access the internet for self-study purposes. Since not everyone learns the same way, it is
therefore
evident that new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
should be available for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries.

Secondly
, if libraries provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, knowledge acquisition would
be limited
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
damaged by time and the information written
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
obsolete. To illustrate such phenomenon, a study carried out by the University of Cambridge has found that 20% of the bookshelves were getting mold from humidity and
consequently
damaging the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, making them disposable. Since papers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
outdated and damaged, it is
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
should be
heavily
invested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries to more
effectively
preserve and mine their collections online.

In conclusion
, the increasing investment in educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has brought up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries should not be an
The usual collocation for "exception" in this context is "to" not "of". Did you mean "exception to"?
exception of
such trend and high-tech media should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
knowledge available for library users.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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