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Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems. v.10

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems. v. 10
It is often argued that many countries have problems of rapidly growing populations in urban areas. This essay will discuss some issues of overpopulation and solutions that can be taken by people and authorities. The main problem of overpopulation is lack of accommodation because the amount of people's migration to big cities increasing sharply every day. Big cities have a lot of job opportunities and better standards of life. Consequently, individuals do not have many places for living and they become the homeless. Another issue with what large towns have to deal this days is traffic jams which leads to air pollution problem. However, there are some solutions that governments could take to deal with accomodation problem. First of all, if authorities build more buildings and expand some areas, people will afford places to live. Furthermore, to handle the traffic jam problem, the government could construct more highways and roads to reduce traffic and improve public transportation in a better way, such as turn on air conditioners in summer and heating in winter. On the other hand, individuals should also play an essential role to deal with these problems. One way to take an action to decrease traffic is to start using public modes of transport instead of their private vehicles. The accomodation problem may be done by sharing flats with other people. To conclude, overpopulation causes some problems, such as traffic and lack of accommodation, but the most important thing is that both governments and people must take action to combat with these difficulties.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of
rapidly
growing populations in urban areas. This essay will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues of overpopulation and solutions that can
be taken
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and authorities.

The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of overpopulation is lack of accommodation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's migration to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities increasing
sharply
every day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
cities have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
job opportunities and better standards of life.
Consequently
, individuals do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
living and
they become the homeless. Another issue with what large towns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal
It seems that a possessive apostrophe is missing.
this days
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams which leads to air pollution problem.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
could take to deal with
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if authorities build more buildings and expand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will afford places to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Furthermore
, to handle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could construct more highways and roads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
public transportation in a better way, such as turn on air conditioners in summer and heating in winter.

On the other hand
, individuals should
also
play an essential role to deal with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. One way to take an action to decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using public modes of transport
instead
of their private vehicles. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
may
be done
by sharing flats with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
, overpopulation causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and lack of accommodation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is that both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take action to combat with these difficulties.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems. v. 10

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
255 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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