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Overpopulation is increasing at an irreversible pace everywhere in the world. In order to control this, it is high time governments should start imposing monetary fines on people having more than one child. v.1

Overpopulation is increasing at an irreversible pace everywhere in the world. In order to control this, it is high time governments should start imposing monetary fines on people having more than one child. v. 1
Many countries are facing density problem these days, as their residents' population have grown rapidly in the past few years. It is believed that the way to control this issue is by charging penalties for families who have more than one child. I personally disagree with the statement and the following essay will discuss it in details about it. For a number of reasons, charging penalties for birth control would not be an effective solution. Firstly, many countries have positive economic growth these days, which means that most of their residents' income has increased. As their income increase, it means that they could pay the respective penalties, and it would not solve the density problem. Secondly, with the implementation of penalties regulation, it will increase the abortion rate. Based on the historical data of country that has implemented the fine regulation such as China, the abortion rate is increasing significantly. Abortion is not just an inhuman act, but it would have a serious threat to the women themselves, such as tumour or cancer. There are other ways that could be considered for solving the overpopulation problem, besides charging some fines. They could educate their residents through television and radio programs, that it would be a serious threat for the future generation. They could inform that as the number of people in the earth increase, the demand for food and housing will automatically rise, which means that it would be a problem for the future descendants. And then, governments could also give campaigns about the usage of birth control tools for adults couples such as condoms or spiral. By using these kinds of approaches, it is hoped that population problem will gradually decrease. In conclusion, it is a fact that a lot of countries have overpopulation issue these days, and it is suggested that governments should charge some penalties for families who have more than one child. I do not agree with the suggestion, as there are other ways in which governments could consider such as giving campaign about birth controls.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are facing density
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
these days, as their residents' population have grown
rapidly
in the past few years. It
is believed
that the way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
this issue is by charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
for families who have more than one child. I
personally
disagree with the statement and the following essay will discuss it in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about it.

For a number of reasons, charging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
for birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
would not be an effective solution.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
economic growth these days, which means that most of their residents' income has increased. As their income increase, it means that they could pay the respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
, and it would not solve the density
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Secondly
, with the implementation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
regulation, it will increase the abortion rate. Based on the historical data of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that has implemented the fine regulation such as China, the abortion rate is increasing
significantly
. Abortion is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
an inhuman act,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it would have a serious threat to the women themselves, such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'tumour' is British English.
tumour
or cancer.

There are other ways that could
be considered
for solving the overpopulation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
besides
charging
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fines. They could educate their residents through television and radio programs, that it would be a serious threat for the future generation. They could inform that as the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the earth increase, the demand for food and housing will
automatically
rise, which means that it would be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for the future descendants. And then,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
could
also
give campaigns about the usage of birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
tools for adults couples such as condoms or spiral. By using these kinds of approaches, it
is hoped
that population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
will
gradually
decrease.

In conclusion
, it is a fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have overpopulation issue these days, and it
is suggested
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should charge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
for families who have more than one child. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the suggestion, as there are other ways in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
could consider such as giving campaign about birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
controls
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Overpopulation is increasing at an irreversible pace everywhere in the world. In order to control this, it is high time governments should start imposing monetary fines on people having more than one child. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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