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More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution. v.12

More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution. v. 12
In today's modern world, the number of private cars is increasing tremendously following the development of technology.   It, inevitably, causes many unanticipated negative consequences on people's lives due to the overreliance on their cars even for a short distance journey. Therefore, it is important for us to establish the possible side effects on our lives and also the effective measures to cope with this problem. Admittedly, there are a number of unwanted negative impacts of overuse of private cars. To begin, the physical strength of people will decline over the years and it becomes more noticeable in the late adulthood. People nowadays are too dependent on their own vehicles which cause them to have limited time to exercise so as to maintain good health. Thus, it is not uncommon that many of them to fall in sick easily, especially the children who are vulnerable to diseases. Furthermore, with the increasing number of private cars, traffic problems may become more severe in big cities it may also cause air pollution. People have to spend more time while travelling from one place to another due to heavy traffic jam. In addition, air pollution may have side effects on people's health when they inhale the unfiltered exhaust gases from vehicles. Nevertheless, there are tonnes of ways which could prove useful and effective in curbing this problem. Firstly, city inhabitants should strive to reduce their dependency on cars. To illustrate, they can choose to brisk walk to the shops nearby whenever they need to buy groceries without driving. It is indirectly giving a valuable opportunity for them to exercise so as to rebuild their bodies and regain health. Besides, it is advisable for the government to promote car pool. It is proven to be one of the effective ways to solve this problem, not only it will reduce the traffic problems which they are now facing every day in a city, but also reduce the exposal of waste effluents from the cars. Sooner or later, they will be able to live healthily in the near future. In conclusion, there are several unanticipated problems that are caused by overreliance on private cars, however, there are numerous effective ways to tackle this problem. I believe the citizens of our nation will be free from the negative side effects of this problem one day provided every individual cooperates and practice the stated ways.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern world, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is increasing
tremendously
following the development of technology.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
It,
inevitably
, causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unanticipated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
due to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
overreliance
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
even for a short distance journey.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for us to establish the possible side effects on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
measures to cope with this problem.

Admittedly
, there are a number of unwanted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of overuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, the physical strength of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will decline over the years and it becomes more noticeable in the late adulthood.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
nowadays are too dependent on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles which cause them to have limited time to exercise
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health.
Thus
, it is not uncommon that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them to fall in sick
easily
,
especially
the children who are vulnerable to diseases.
Furthermore
, with the increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
may become more severe in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities it may
also
cause air pollution.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend more time while travelling from one place to another due to heavy traffic jam.
In addition
, air pollution may have side effects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health when they inhale the unfiltered exhaust gases from vehicles.

Nevertheless
, there are tonnes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
which could prove useful and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
in curbing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Firstly
, city inhabitants should strive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their dependency on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. To illustrate, they can choose to brisk walk to the shops nearby whenever they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
groceries without driving. It is
indirectly
giving a valuable opportunity for them to exercise
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
rebuild their bodies and regain health.
Besides
, it is advisable for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
pool. It
is proven
to be one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
facing every day in a city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
exposal
of waste effluents from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. Sooner or later, they will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
healthily
in the near future.

In conclusion
, there are several unanticipated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that
are caused
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
overreliance
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
,
however
, there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. I believe the citizens of our nation will be free from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side effects of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
one day provided every individual cooperates and practice the stated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
397 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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