Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks? v.9

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks? v. 9
Nowadays, more students choose to study abroad than ever before. While there are good benefits in studying in a foreign country, I believe that the drawbacks outweigh the positive impacts this trend has. On the one hand, there are many benefits of studying abroad. Firstly, overseas students become more independent by living alone in foreign country. For instance, they are responsible for cleaning, cooking, and paying bills. Secondly, moving to other countries can broaden students’ horizons. They get exposed to different cultures and customs and gain knowledge about them. Also, overseas students learn foreign languages to cope with the new culture they involved in. Finally, foreign institutions offer better courses for students. The qualification gained open the door to get better job opportunities with high salaries. On the other hand, I would argue that studying abroad has more negative impacts than the positive one. One problem is that it can affect students psychologically. Studying alone in an unfamiliar culture can lead to homesickness or even depression. Also, this different culture may lead to culture shock which may affect the student’s performance. Another drawback of studying overseas is that students can experience some problems with paperwork like visa permit and may struggle to find suitable accommodation and paying their bills. This may add more pressure on the students and interrupt their studying. Furthermore, the language barrier may exacerbate the situation. Studying in a foreign language is a difficult task to many students and if they failed to master the language and communication skill, this may lead to the isolation from the community and might cause a failure in studying. In conclusion, the drawback of studying abroad outweighs the benefit and this decision needs more assessment from the students.
Nowadays, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choose to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. While there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
benefits in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
country, I believe that the drawbacks outweigh the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts this trend has.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
.
Firstly
, overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become more independent by living alone in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
country.
For instance
, they are responsible for cleaning, cooking, and paying bills.
Secondly
, moving to other countries can broaden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
horizons. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposed to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and customs and gain knowledge about them.
Also
, overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
to cope with the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
they involved in.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
institutions offer better courses for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The qualification gained open the door to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better job opportunities with high salaries.

On the other hand
, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
one. One problem is that it can affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
psychologically
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Studying
alone in an unfamiliar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
can lead to homesickness or even depression.
Also
, this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
may lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
shock which may affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
performance. Another drawback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
overseas is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems with paperwork like visa permit and may struggle to find suitable accommodation and paying their bills. This may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more pressure on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and interrupt their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barrier may exacerbate the situation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Studying
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is a difficult task to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and if they failed to master the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, this may lead to the isolation from the community and might cause a failure in studying.

In conclusion
, the drawback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
outweighs the benefit and this decision needs more assessment from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts