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Overpopulation in many urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes? How can this problem be solved? v.1

Overpopulation in many urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes? How can this problem be solved? v. 1
Many metropolitan cities around the world are overcrowded which has resulted in serious environmental and health issues. This essay will consider the major causes of overpopulation in urban centers namely, rural to urban migration and uncontrolled procreation while promising solutions will be propose. One major cause of population explosion in many urban cities is the rise in rural to urban migration. This occur because many people in the countrysides seek for better education, job opportunities and social amenities which are available in urban centers. For example, in Nigeria, cities like Lagos are overcrowded due to migration of unemployed youths in search of jobs from other parts of the country to these cities. As a result, some metropolitan centers are experiencing overpopulation. Furthermore, there is uncontrolled procreation in some parts of the world. In recent years, some couples have more children than what the resources of the cities can accommodate. For instance, in northern Nigeria, an average family comprise of between eight to fourteen people which has caused a surge in the population. This has resulted in overcrowding of some city centers. Fortunately, however, there are two promising solutions to this problem. First of all, government should limit rural to urban migration by ensuring the development of educational institutions, health facilities and industries in towns and smaller cities. This will discourage emigration to the large cites. Secondly, government should promote policies that will control reproduction such as family planning initiatives. This will reduce the population of major cities over a couple of years to come. In conclusion, overpopulation experienced in some urban centers around the world arise due to migration of people from the countrysides to major cities and due to excessive procreation. In an effort to combat this problem, the government should develop the rural areas and promote policies that discourage uncontrolled reproduction in our society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
around the world
are overcrowded
which has resulted in serious environmental and health issues. This essay will consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
causes of overpopulation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
namely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
and uncontrolled procreation while promising solutions will be
Consider using the past participle "proposed"?
propose
.

One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
cause of population explosion in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is the rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
.
The verb 'occur' is plural. Did you mean: "This occurs"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This occur
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the countrysides seek for better education, job opportunities and social amenities which are available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
.
For example
, in Nigeria,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
like Lagos
are overcrowded
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
of unemployed youths in search of jobs from other parts of the country to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
are experiencing overpopulation.

Furthermore
, there
is uncontrolled
procreation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the world. In recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
couples have more children than what the resources of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can accommodate.
For instance
, in northern Nigeria, an average family
Did you mean "comprise" or "consist of"?
comprise of
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between eight and fourteen".
between eight to fourteen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which has caused a surge in the population. This has resulted in overcrowding of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
city centers.

Fortunately
,
however
, there are two promising solutions to this problem.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should limit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
by ensuring the development of educational institutions, health facilities and industries in towns and smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. This will discourage emigration to the large cites.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should promote policies that will control reproduction such as family planning initiatives. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the population of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
over a couple of years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.

In conclusion
, overpopulation experienced in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
around the world arise due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from the countrysides to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and due to excessive procreation. In an effort to combat this problem, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas and promote policies that discourage uncontrolled reproduction in our society.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Overpopulation in many urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes? How can this problem be solved? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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